I’ve killed with my bare hands. I’ve also used razor wire, and at this moment, I know what it would feel like to have a metal noose tighten around my throat. St. James set this trap for me. But any secrets I allow out into the world can be used against me, and, knowing St. James, he won’t hesitate to use anything at his disposal to destroy me.
And while I’d sacrifice myself for Inara with no hesitation, anything St. James knows about us puts her at risk, too.
But I have to tell him something. And he’ll know if it isn’t the truth.
I weigh the consequences for another second. “She’s. . . like me.” My throat is tight.
He blinks slowly, a sign of shock. He didn’t expect me to lay myself bare. But I’m a man obsessed. What do I have to lose?
“Do you know her safe word?” I ask. I’m about topull out my phone and show him, but he’s read her file and obviously memorized it.
“Eliyra,” he says. “It’s the name of the town where she was born and raised.”
“Where her family was murdered.”
He inclines his head.
I put away my phone. “I know what it’s like to go through what she went through. I understand the depth of her loss, and she understands mine.” This is the truth, but it’s no secret. I keep going, sharing more than is comfortable. “She keeps her pain around her like a monk’s hair shirt. I want her to let me be the one who tortures her instead.”
St. James is perfectly still, listening. I’m appealing to him, one dom to another, and I know he understands. There’s a reason he has a stake in a BDSM sex club. His kink is similar, if not darker, than mine.
“I will give her the pain she craves, good pain. And help her to bear it.” Here in the room where Inara and I first met face to face, it’s easy to channel the emotion into my voice. “She was made for me. And everything I’ve done, everything I’ve become. . . I know now it’s because I was made for her.”
That’s it. I’ve bared my jugular. I’ve shown him everything.
I stop speaking, waiting to see if it’s enough.
Maybe this isn’t all about me. St. James enjoys power of all types. In his head, he might have appointed himself Inara’s guardian to require me to pay a bride price.
I’ll pay it, though, gladly. And if he’s a threat to her, I’ll snap his neck, business be damned. He has his wits, but I’ve trained like a warrior. It’d be a fair fight, but I would win in the end.
I have someone to live for.
I steel myself for a fight, but St. James moves first. He drains his drink and sets it down.
It’s over.
“Congratulations, then. On finding her.”
I freeze, wondering if he’s referencing how long I’ve been searching for her. The only one who knows that is Hamish. His expression gives nothing away, so I respond to the surface statement. “Thank you.”
“I’ll leave you to it. She’s in the private bar. Running up a tab on your credit, I believe.” His smile deepens. It makes him look like a snake. “I’ll have them send her down.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
He pauses at the door, studying the wall of implements at my disposal. He’s thinking of all his preferred ways of meting out punishment. “Enjoy.”
I wait until he shuts the door to sink into the couch. I meant what I said. I’d have said it sooner, except Inara is looking for any excuse to run from me. I’ll wait until I have her tied down. Literally, if need be. We’ve already established that she likes rope.
I rise and head over to the available tools. I don’t have much time. I need to make my plans and prepare for tonight’s scene.
I have a little bird who needs to be taught a lesson.
21
Inara
I’ve just finishedmy drink when a club attendant arrives to escort me to St. James. I follow them to a private elevator.
