My fingers freeze on his chest. “What? Why?”
“It was when we were young. Do not worry. He probably won’t ever do it again.”
I’m speechless, and my body’s gone cold. Jaeger shifts under me, and my leg brushes his hard cock. A minute ago, I would’ve rolled onto my back to receive him, but now I’m fighting the urge to curl into a ball.
Is he telling me this because he wants me to share about my own nightmares?
The scar is so real under my fingertips. I shouldn’t pry into Jaeger’s violent past. I’ve kept my head in the sand this long. And yet…
“How old were you?” I ask.
He smiles. “Fifteen.”
I suck in a breath.
“We were in the fighting rings. The ones under the city.”
“The ones Fraternitas runs?”
“At the time, Fraternitas did not run them because Fraternitas barely existed. Kaiser and I were under the care”—another bleak smile—“of a man named Maestro. He was our guardian in name. He stole us off the streets and kept us captive. And when we were of age, he made us fight.”
My breath is frozen in my lungs. Terrible images flood my mind. My veins feel tight like they used to when I was craving a hit.
“What age?” I whisper.
“He took ownership of us after we hit puberty. We spent a year and a half in the rings.”
I run my hands over his shoulders and chest, finding the bumps and ragged edges of his scars under the ink. I knew his life had been brutal. I didn’t realize the violence had started when he was so young.
“What about Father Francis?”
“He searched for us. So did St. James and all the rest of the street children who would become Fraternitas. Maestro hidKaiser and me away in a place where they could not find us. Until the day we broke free.”
My fingers find the scar over his heart. “What happened?”
“We killed him. After he made us fight each other, and Kaiser gave me this.” He covers my hand with his large one, molding my palm to his marred chest. Our hands rise and fall with his breath. “To save my life. To save both our lives. Maestro decreed that one of us would fall, and so I did. And as I lay bleeding out, Kaiser turned on Maestro and killed him.”
I close my eyes, but the scene Jaeger described plays out in my mind. Over and over, unending. Two identical blond-haired boys, wild and covered in blood, grappling in a shadowy circle.
Jaeger rubs the top of my hand, and my eyes snap open. I stare into the stormy seas of his irises, feeling like I’ve seen every part of him, inside and out. I’ve never been so close to anyone.
I’ve never let someone get so close to me. Our breath mingles and becomes one. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I know you want me, Elodie. But you’re also afraid.”
I roll away from him and curl into a ball. He rolls, too, surrounding me. His hard dick prods my backside, but he keeps his hand threaded with mine, clasped against my heart.
His lips find my ear. “Did you know the night we met was my birthday? You were St. James’ gift to me.” His tone is soft with wonder. “I’ve never had a birthday gift before. Maestro kept us in cages.”
I squeeze my eyes tighter.
He continues so softly I can’t be sure I haven’t imagined it. “I know you don’t want to know this about me. I know you want to run.” His breath stirs the curls at the back of my neck. “But you’re brave, braver than you know.” He’s so close his lips brush the back of my ear. “I’ve never told anyone these things, Elodie. Not even Father Francis or my Fraternitas brothers. Kaiser andI never speak of it. But if there’s a chance someone in this world will know everything about me, I want it to be you.”
11
Elodie
The next morning,Jaeger wakes me with his face between my legs. I come awake, my arousal shooting from zero to a million miles per hour. My body is primed from his late-night touching, and all the heaviness of last night’s confession and my intense dreams disappear.
