They were still talking when I finished paying, their blond heads close together. Cole illustrated a point with a graceful gesture. Lucy nodded, but when Cole turned away, she shot me a look of pure disgust.
I followed Cole out the door, but Lucy’s expression stuck in my mind. With a few words, she sent me back to grade school, where I was the scruffy, ugly outcast. I was the girl from the wrong neighborhood and everyone knew it. Between the kids and teachers, they made sure I did too.
I remembered why I was so desperate to leave. You can’t change who you are in Licking Hole. People decided who you were, and you were stuck for life.
Cole stopped at a stoplight on Main Street, and I sank down in the seat. I didn’t want people to see us together.
It hit me. I was the special one. The one he’d waited for. But I couldn’t have him. People would talk—it would hurt him, really hurt him. He’d worked so hard on his image. And his image was his career. Just being with me risked his career.
By the time we got home, I’d made my decision. The community needed him more than I did.
“You’re quiet,” he said as he held the door for me. “You must be really hungry.”
I walked through the kitchen straight to the hall to the bedroom.
“Regina?” He followed me, frowning as I started packing my clothes. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t do this, Cole,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You need to take me back to the trailer.”
His hands caught mine. “Look at me.”
“No.” I ducked my head.
“Look at me,” he repeated, less gently, and caught my chin. “That’s an order. You promised to obey me.”
“I can’t!” I wrenched myself away. “This isn’t going to work.”
“Why not?”
“I see how people look at me, and how they look at you. They’ll think less of you, because you’re with me. And if it ever gets out what you’ve done, the deal you gave me?—”
“It’s none of their business.”
“It doesn’t matter. It makes no sense that you’d be with me.”
“I made a vow.”
“Yes, to the community. And they’re expecting?—”
“No. Before that. I vowed I would take care of you.”
“What?”
“You were twelve years old.”
“I knew what I wanted. I knew who I wanted.” He ran a hand over his buzzed head. “I’m nothing if not committed. You said that yourself. When I was eighteen, I told myself I’d wait for you. Don’t you see, Regina? You’re the only one for me.”
“It can’t be, Cole. People won’t respect you. I’m like a stain on your shining armor. Did you see Lucy Litt’s face when she realized I was with you?”
“I don’t care about what people like her think.”
“You should. Those people elect you.”
“Listen to me. You’re not thinking clearly. You never have.”
“I’m not drunk?—”
“I mean about yourself. You don’t see yourself like I see you. Like anyone sees you.” You’re special. You’re sweet and passionate, and funny. And you go out of your way to help people. You’re a good person.”
