By midday,I’ve escaped to my study to see whether making some music will help the ache in the bond threatening to suffocate me.
It was a mistake to sleep beside my pet. Everything I’ve done to remain in control was swept away when I gave in to her request and spent the night by her side. If I’m not careful, she’ll get ideas—think she has power over me.
I will not be ruled by an Omega. I will not succumb to weakness and tell myself it’slove, as others do.
Khan is a prime example. He’s a successful Alpha king, one who commanded entire fleets of spaceships, whose reputation preceded him throughout the galaxy, and whose name struck terror into the hearts of foes, and yet the other day, he merely sat meekly beside Emma, reduced to a silent observer. A trinket on her arm. A shadow of what an Alpha should be.
Pathetic.I hear the insult in my father’s voice. He hovers incessantly in the back of my mind, sneering at anything he judges to be weak. He would make some allowances for my behavior in rut, but my longing to draw Renee close, to keep her with me always?
No sex is worth the headache of an uppity female.
He would advise me to put space between myself and the Omega. To spend time away from her until I can cease my thoughts’ constant orbit around her. She has become the suns and moons of my life, a disturbance bigger than an erupting volcano.
I try everything to make her happy—taking her on a flight, showering her with gifts, and learning everything that gives her pleasure purely to give her more of it—and yet she is never truly content. There are recurring spells of disquiet in the bond. I felt a faint one last night, and this morning, when I left her to sleep longer. When she woke to find me gone, her disappointment was like a knife slicing through my breastbone. The pain flared to a sharp peak, then faded to a dull ache. It’s still there, an acid corroding the connection between us.
Claiming her wasn’t a mistake—I needed to mark her as mine, bind her to me always. What I didn’t anticipate was the depth of emotions the bond would make me suffer through. There must be a way to dull them, if not remove them completely.
Perhaps I shouldn’t spend so much time with her outside of the bedroom. After all, I don’t spend every waking moment with Plutus. Maybe that’s why he’s always so happy to see me.
I pluck a discordant note on the strings of myhriox, filling the room with a jarring twang.
My father always insisted that females should know their place. Renee does not, and it is my fault. By dining with her, having endless discussions with her, allowing her to meet another Hoo-man, I’ve obviously confused her. She is mypet. My plaything. A morsel for my sexual appetite. Nothing more. I must remind her of her place not with the physical dominance she so adores, but by withdrawing more. Spending more time as I used to—in my own company, relishing the solitude.
From now on, no matter how prettily she pleads, we will sleep apart. She will wait for me in her bedchamber, her thoughts focused on how she can entice me to stay by her side. And with space and time away from her, I will regain control over myself. No more a servant of the soul-bond, but a master.
In my mind’s eye, my father nods. He approves of this plan.
Thehrioxsings under my fingers, and I fall into playing a familiar melody. Beautiful, and sad. I play and play, ignoring the twinge in my chest that makes it hard to breathe.
“Here you are.” Renee stands in the doorway, her face half in shadow.
My fingers slip on the strings and the air echoes with the last sour note.
“I was looking for you.” She takes a small step forward then hesitates, her expression unreadable.
“And here I am,” I say, setting thehrioxaside.
“What’s that?” Her gaze flicks to the ornate silver instrument.
“Ahriox. My mother’s. She often played it.” The melancholy tune I just played was one of her favorites.
My pet approaches me slowly. “Maybe you could play it for me?”
“Another time.”
She rubs her head. “Krav… can we talk? There’s something I’ve been thinking about.”
I make no move to encourage her. I ache to reach for her, hold her close, but I will myself to be still. To treat her coldly. As a demon should. As my father would desire.
“It was after that orb call we had with Khan and Emma.” She settles on a nearby stool. “It’s about the whole kids thing.” Her gaze is on her hands, clenched in her lap. “See, I never thought it would be possible for me. First, because of my age, and because I couldn’t find any guy worthy of being my baby daddy back home. And then here, I ruled it out because I figured… well, we’re not even the same species. Sure, we can fuck, but I never thought we could…”
“Breed successfully?” I suggest when she trails off. My tone is deliberately cool. Disinterested. Conversations like this make me uncomfortable.
“Well, yeah.” She bites her lip. “But now I know otherwise. And it’s got me thinking… do you… would you ever… I mean, would you be happy if I got pregnant?” Her eyes are intent on me now. The ache in the bond is intensifying. I want to rub my chest but force myself to remain still.
“I have no desire for children,” I tell her. “So it won’t ever happen.”
She blinks. “Won’t ever happen? How can you know for sure?”
