“I'm here,” I say. “How are you doing this?”
“I hacked a communication orb. I’m Kim,” the American says brusquely. “Good to meet you.”
“I’m Emma,” the British woman adds. “Good to meet you.”
There’s a pause. They’re waiting for me to answer. “Um, thanks. I’m Rose,” I speak into the lava lamp, feeling ridiculous. “You guys are the other humans?”
“Guilty,” Kim says. “We’re two of the humans brought here and given the special serum to turn us into Omegas. You know about that?”
“Yes.”
“Awesomesauce. I’m mated to the Golden King, and Emma’s with the Wanderer King.”
“His name is Khan,” Emma puts in.
“And there’s one other human we know of, named Haley. She’s mostly offline. She and the Hunter King like to go off and commune with the wilderness or something. Look, I can’t talk long. But Emma and I wanted to make contact and make sure you’re okay.”
“Um, thank you. I’m good,” I say. “I was hoping I’d get to speak to you.”
“You’re mated to the Beast King?” Emma asks.
“I don’t know aboutmated,” I say. This is the weirdest girls’ chat I’ve ever had. “We’re living together.”
“That’s how it starts,” Kim says. “One day, you’re living in the harem with the concubines, teaching them about orgasms, and the next, you're claimed by a giant Alpha. Emma’s got a purple one. I’ve got a shiny gold one—like a life-sized Emmy statue but, you know, with an actual dick.”
“Kim, please,” Emma says, sounding prim. “TMI.”
“Who else can I talk to about this stuff? You’re my only friends. My onlyhumanfriends. I hang out with a bunch of Beta nerds, but you guys can actually get my Earth jokes.”
“Wait,” I say. “Do you know how we got here?”
“Not really.” Kim doesn’t sound too fussed. “They refer to their scientists and engineers as magicians. In any case, they worked out it was something to do with portals and wormholes or something. There are at least four of us here—you, me, Emma, and Haley.”
“There might be more,” Emma puts in. “The kings are searching for them.”
“Right. We don’t know if more of us were brought over. It’s all way too complicated to into right now, but it boils down to a space experiment program gone wrong.”
“Okay,” I say. “Sounds like something out of Mystery Science Theater.”
“See?” Kim crows. “I love hearing modern Earth references. In any case, we're all from the same time, and roughly the same area. I don't really remember my life before but Emma has a theory that she came through a portal that opened up in Richmond, Virginia.”
“Richmond, Virginia… that sounds vaguely familiar,” I say. I did travel a lot for my job.
“Do you remember much of your old life, Rose?” Emma asks.
“Just vague bits and pieces. I worked a lot when I wasn’t studying. Didn't have much of a life. I had a lot of house plants.”
“Fair enough,” Kim says. “I think I just played video games all the time.”
“Do you like the Beast King?” Emma asks. “Is he treating you well?”
“Yes,” I answer. “He can be an overbearing asshole, but he’s trying.”
“That’s good,” Emma says.
“All Alphas are overbearing assholes. It’s part of their DNA. Unfortunately, our Omega sides seem to find it hot.” Kim sighs. “I practically begged Aurus to claim me.”
“I did beg Khan,” Emma mutters.
