Digging a knee into the mattress, I double down, grinding it out, chasing his climax more than my own, and I get my reward in his gritted out French expletives. In the hallowed way his deep voice wraps around my name. Tam detonates, and it’s as beautiful as he is. A holy thing that catapults me off the edge, and we come together in a mind-blowing haze of the sweetest high.
I’ve never felt anything like it. Only the fact I’m still inside Tam, and I’ve put him through a marathon of hard sex, stops me collapsing on the ruined bed and sleeping forever.
We’re both wrecked.
I ease out of him and stagger to the bathroom, grateful that every facet of the annex is within a few steps. I dump thecondom, grab a towel, and go back to Tam to help him clean up.
Then we lie together in the dark, just breathing, until his hands find mine and he squeezes my fingers as hard as I fucked him.
I squeeze him back. “Okay?”
Tam takes a slow and shaky breath. “Yeah, baby. I’m okay.”
Sixteen
TAM
I lie to Bhodi. I’m not okay. I called himbaby, and it wasn’t a mistake.
It’s how I feel as I drift to sleep beside him for the second night running, and when I wake with my arms around him and my face pressed between his shoulder-blades. It’s how I feel when I realise he’s still sleeping and he’s more beautiful now than he’s ever been.
That’s quite the fucking claim, but with Bhodi it’s always been more than how he looks, even if he’s so pretty right now I might legitimately die from it.
It’s the contentment in my heart as I stare at him. The peace. And the sadness that comes from knowing I have to wake him.
Don’t sneak out on him. Learned that lesson yesterday when he gazed at me like he was so fucking certain I never wanted to see him again.
“Bhodi.” I kiss his neck on a whisper. “Bhodi. Wake up.”
Bhodi breathes a little deeper. Then his eyes flash open. “What is it? Are you okay?”
I stop him bolting upright and kiss his neck again. “Sab’s heading out this morning. I need to be there, but I can’t leave without saying goodbye.”
A beat passes before Bhodi relaxes, and the readiness in his jewel gaze softens a little. “Is he coming back?”
“I have no fucking idea. I just need to make sure he knows he can.”
Bhodi nods, understanding, even as his gaze dips. “See you later…maybe?”
“There’s no fucking maybe about it.” I breathe him in one last time. Then I get up, throw my clothes on, and leave without looking back, because I know one glance, however fleeting, will burn my resolve to the ground.
Merde, I’m not built for how hard it is to walk away from him when I know he needs me to stay. But Sab…he’s my brother. I can’t let him go without telling him, even though he already knows, that my home is his home for as long as he needs it to be.
At least, that’s my intention. Then I walk into my house to Rudy’s apocalyptic barking and Sab’s smug face and I feel like chucking a bucket of water over the pair of them.
“Don’t.” I jab a finger at him with one hand while I stuff a toothbrush in my mouth with the other. “Don’t say a fucking word.”
Sab threads his arms across his chest. “Why? You want privacy?”
“It’s not that much to ask.”
“Then shut the blinds when you get banged, bro. I’m scarred for life over here.”
I don’t blink. I don’t breathe. “What?”
Sab comes closer and pokes my bicep hard enough to make me sway on my feet. “The blinds in the annex. I got the not-shock of my fucking life when I got up for a piss last night.”
“Not-shock?”
