I don’t actually know. Sab isn’t going anywhere, but the thought of not seeing Bhodi for however long my brother needs me is enough to kill my smile.
Bhodi steps closer. “Sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes me for a long moment, then brushes a cautious kissto my cheek. “Hey, I’m in all night. Come find me if you need something. And wear shoes when you do.”
When. Not if. And Bhodi’s gone before my imagination can run wild with that one, leaving me to trudge back inside to face Sab. He hasn’t moved, but he doesn’t have to bear witness to every second of my life to read me. “He does something to you.”
I’m tired of denying it. I stretch out on the rug and tweak Esme’s dark, Dubois curls. “I know.”
“Something good?”
“Maybe.”
Sab snorts. “It’s definitely something good. I’ve never seen you chase after someone like that. And you’ve been waiting to catch sight of him all day.”
“I don’t have his number.”
“He kissed you.”
“You kiss me all the time.”
“I’m your brother.” Sab plants a smacker on my cheek. “And we’re French. But if you looked at me the way you were looking at him, I’d call the police.”
“Fuck off.”
Sab hums, thinking, which is always dangerous. “How did you leave it?”
“Leave what?”
“Whatever fuckwit conversation you treated him to outside.”
The baby stops me poking him. I steal her and sit her on my chest, ignoring the ache in my back that’s been grumbling since I told Bhodi about the accident. As if it wants to remind me of something I haven’t figured out yet. “I asked if he was in later.”
“And?”
“And, he said he was.”
“Please tell me you’re going to go over there and kiss him back.”
“What makes you think he wasn’t kissingmeback?”
Sab laughs, though it’s dimmed by the stress lining his face. “Fucking knew it.”
“You don’t know anything.”
“I knowyou. And as your favourite sibling, it’s my responsibly to make sure you don’t Tam your way out of something that makes you giddy enough to run out the door half-dressed.”
“I’m dressed.”
“Your jeans are undone.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Whatever. My point stands. Don’t waste this, mon frère. You deserve better than that. Maybe you both do.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to quip that Bhodi deserves better thanme. And that Sab’s my only fucking sibling, so he’s my favourite by default. But my mind skips past all that too fast for me to verbalise, too eager to get to the good shit—the possibility that I get to see Bhodi again today. The certainty, actually. There’s no doubt in my mind I’ll be knocking on his door before this day is over.
