I mean, I don’t. I’m just knackered, and covering a day shift on my first rest day doesn’t help, but that’s life—mylife, and I’m beginning to regret everything about it, from the bad sandwich I picked for lunch to the scruff I ran out of time to shave from my jaw.
It’s hard to regret Stardust Lane, though. It doesn’t seem tomatter what time I come home, day or night, it’s still the prettiest place I’ve ever lived.
Landlord’s not bad either.
True story, and I find myself looking for Tam as I pull up outside his house, but the small van I’ve assumed to be his is gone, and there’s no rabid dog pelting around the garden. He’s out and I curse myself for being disappointed. For the tiny shoot of desire in my belly threatening to bloom into full-blown attraction. I’m sworn to a life of uncomplicated sex, and I don’t think lusting after my landlord counts.
Also, I need to go shopping. My cupboards are still bare and the thought of more noodles and chips is enough to put me off dinner altogether.
I take a shower and rinse the day away, stick a load of washing in the machine, then head out again, committed to adulting for just a couple more hours when all I want to do is sleep, and forget that I spent most of my day nursing a patient who ultimately went back to ICU and died ten minutes before I got off shift.
I’m no stranger to losing patients, but it was my first one here, and it stings. I thought she’d live.
She didn’t.
“Hey.”
I startle, head jerking up seconds before I crash into a lean, tall body that smells of woodsmoke and cinnamon. “Fuck. Hey.”
Tam grins. “Sleepwalking again?”
Denial bubbles up my throat but it’s beaten by a yawn. “Probably. Where’ve you been?”
I notice too late that sounds like I’ve been tracking his comings and goings. That I don’t really care manifests muchquicker. I like Tam. It’s not a crime to be interested in his day-to-day life…right?
“Deliveries.” Tam nods to the van. “I needed to clear the decks before I start new orders.”
“Orders? Has this got something to do with the oak you dropped on yourself?”
“I didn’t drop anything—it fell. And no. I don’t do much heavy lifting these days.”
I’m so hungry. I need to blow through Tesco, buy some legitimate food that’s not laden with salt and MSG before I fall asleep where I stand. But curiosity overpowers the weight of a bad shift, and I realise the craving to know more about him is stronger than the need to eat pasta alone and brood over the patient I lost today. “So whatdoyou do?”
Sounds like a come-on. Tam’s brows twitch, like he’s fighting a smirk, and it’s the best thing I’ve seen all day. All week. Possibly ever. “I do lots of things, but if you’re asking about my job, it’s probably easier to show you some time than explain.”
I want him to show me now, but my stomach chooses that moment to growl so loud it probably scares the birds from the trees. “Sorry.” I rub my empty belly. “I need to go food shopping before I expire.”
Tam’s brows knit for real this time. “You have no food?”
“I have food,” I clarify, though his immediate concern is cute. “Just nothing I want to eat after a run of night shifts. I need something hot—like a cuddle on a plate, you know?”
“Like chicken?”
“Maybe.”
“Bacon?”
“Stop.” Another growl rumbles from my gut. “If I get too hungry, I’ll tap out and buy another Pot Noodle multipack.”
“Nah. Not happening.” Tam moves suddenly and grabs my arm, towing me towards his gate before I find the faculties—or let’s face it, thewill—to protest.
I’m at his front door before I know what’s happening. “Are you abducting me?”
“I’mfeedingyou.” Tam unlocks his door and kicks it open. His crazy dog rockets down the hallway to greet us, and just like that, I’m in his house.
And he’s still holding my arm.
He doesn’t seem to notice as the dog blasts past him and hurls itself at my leg. I scoop him up, laughing as he launches a lick attack to my face. “What kind of ferret dog is this?”
