Viktor:Ranger will not let me be anything else. But you knew that, didn’t you?
Jake:I knew he would try
Jake went silent for a while. I took a seat on the stone steps of the patio and stretched my leg, easing out the kinks of being airborne for the first time in so long. My mind felt cramped too, but I lacked the capacity to do anything about that, and I let my thoughts jostle and jumble, caught between worrying about Jake and fixating on what might happen when Ranger woke up.
Jake:Tell me the truth
Viktor:About what?
Jake:How you are
Viktor:I am well
Jake:Can you fly?
Viktor:I did. Today. It went well
More silence invaded the connection between us. Which meant Jake had been interrupted or he was thinking, and both scenarios were dangerous. Like everything in my life seemedto be, including the heat in my blood every time my thoughts drifted to the sleeping man inside.
And he was most definitely asleep. By now, I was sure of it.
Check.
No. I would not. Ranger had not left me alone for so long since he got here. He was either exhausted or sick of the sight of me.
Jake:Can you fight?
I sat up straighter, sensing the shift in those three words—in Jake, in me—as my thumbs hovered over the screen, hesitating in a way I never had before.
Can you fight?
Had I ever truly stopped?
That I was alive to contemplate it saidnet. But then, I was alone on the patio while the man of my dreams slept inside. I hadlefthim alone, in Leeds, when both of us had needed me to stay.
You are weak.
I did not want to be. Not anymore.
Viktor:I am ready
I sent the message as I rose, the pain in my hip remote, as if I were already pushing it away. Already anticipating the boots clomping on the tiled floor of the house. The hurried footsteps. The wild gaze that swept the grounds as Ranger burst outside.
He found me and relief bled from him.He thought I left.And I did not blame him. The monster in me would never die, but as I stepped closer to him, for the first time that I could remember, I felt strong enough to lock it up.
We collided, gently. At least he was gentle. I was not as I propelled him back the way he had come.
It surprised me that he allowed it, but this man, he had always been a constant revelation to me. About him. About myself. And right now, his raised brows and smouldering gazegave me strength, gave me life, and whatever happened, I would be forever thankful for that, and for him.
Lida slipped into the house and padded to her bed.
I shut the door behind us. Secured it with the flick of a hidden switch.
Then I lay my hands on Ranger again, anchoring him to me at the waist, fingers tangling in the messy hair at the nape of his neck. “I would like... to take a shower with you.”
Ranger’s gaze darkened, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “You don’t have to do that. I already told you I’ll fly in that death can every day you leave the junk where it belongs.”
He did tell me that. The second we landed this afternoon. “This is not about that. This is something I’ve thought about for a long time.”
