Shit. My thoughts spiralled, memories and reality coalescing into a fuck-off jolt of panic. HD flashbacks slammed into me, and the thin threads of consciousness frittered away.
….
“Shut the fuckin’ window before your mum comes down and rips me a new one.”
Willow laughed.
From behind her, even my elusive son cracked a smile. “It’s funny when Mum shouts at you.”
“For you, maybe.” I beckoned Nicky closer so I could hug him through the narrow window. “That woman scares me.”
She didn’t.
Not really.
Kara was a good person. For all I’d let her down so many times, she’d never once threatened to do the one thing that would’ve finished me off. She’d never threatened to take my kids away.
Still. Despite losing Nash to wherever he’d fucked off to before I’d been ready to let him go, I was in a good mood. The best. Didn’t need it soured by a coating from my ex-wife.
I ruffled Nicky’s hair. It was darker than mine, like Logan’s, but his subtle gaze was all Kara. “You wanna do something tomorrow?”
He shrugged. “Like what?”
“Anything that isn’t computer shit. Still haven’t trained my opposable thumbs.”
Nicky rolled his eyes. “Maybe.”
Willow kicked him. “You’re such a fucking hermit.”
“Hey.” I gave her a look that made no difference whatsoever. “No violence. Love makes the world go round, remember?”
It was as close to a lecture as I ever got and pretty much the only rule of mine that my kids ever acknowledged.
I left Willow to her band practice before one of her mates could ask about Decoy the DILF, and Nicky to his X-Box. It always hurt to walk away from them, but with Nash and Orla filling the empty space in my heart, the ache in my soul was less.
I’d left my bike on the road. At some point over the past week or so, Nash had done something to the engine. It was quieter now, the clatter from the cam chain gone because that fucker had done three hours work on my hog before getting himself some shut-eye.
I love him.
Wow. I really fuckin’ did.
I threw a leg over my Dyna and started her up, letting the newly smooth rumble travel through me, my mind devoid of all thought except getting home to Orla and taking her to Nash’s bed where we could wait for him in private.
It wasn’t about fucking—not really. We never got that far when he wasn’t around. But a sudden need to be alone with her, and how I fuckin’ felt about her and him, gripped my heart.
I need them.
Shoulda scared me.
It didn’t.
…
My eyes flew open, heart slamming against my sore ribs, acid flooding my veins in complete contradiction to the lack of fear I’d left in my dreams.
If that’s what they were. Profound fatigue weighed heavy on me, but it had nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with the throbbing in my head, the agony in my shoulder, and the sticky mess I lay in.
A van door slammed.
