“Yet.”
Nash lowered his arm. “Probably never. Orla has endo.”
“Endo?”
“Endometriosis. One of her fallopian whatnots is pretty damaged already.”
Nash spat his facts with little emotion, but I was attuned enough to him by now that I saw the hurt in his gaze.
Forgetting that he was naked, I slid down the bed to his level, facing him as he seemed to shift onto his side on autopilot. “That’s a really shit thing neither of you deserve.”
Nash rubbed his face. “It’s worse for her. She loves kids. But it’s more than that. It’s how fucking painful it is for her sometimes and she won’t tell anyone. Cam, River. Even Rubes. It’s like she thinks she has to be this strong, infallible goddess and she doesn’t fucking realise she’s a goddess to us whatever, you know?”
There it was, the emotion he’d tried to hide the first time. Under the covers, I reached for him and found his bare hip, drawing him into a hug that I had every intention of keeping platonic.
But he wasnaked, and I was human. And hard. So very fuckin’ hard, a fact I tried to ignore, even when Nash’s actual dick prodded my gut. “It’s not a definite no, though, right?”
With his head on my shoulder, Nash shrugged. “We don’t use birth control in case a miracle happens, but we’re not hanging on for one. We’ve lost too much to not be grateful for what we already have.”
“She loves you.”
“I love her too.” Nash raised his head. “What do you need to tell me?”
“The same thing I had to tell Orla last night.”
Nash frowned, cogs turning, but he was still knackered and came up blank. “Can you just say it? My brain fucking hurts.”
I massaged his corded bicep. “You hurt anywhere else?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Why aren’tyouasking what the fuck I’m doing in your bed?”
Nash finally seemed to realise he was poking me in the stomach with his morning wood.
He shifted onto his belly, propping himself up on his elbows. “Because I don’t want you to come to your senses and leave.”
I wasn’t leaving him until he wanted to get up or Orla came back. Whichever happened first. “How long do you think I’ve been in here?”
Nash rubbed his face again, confusion bleeding into his tired eyes. “I don’t know. An hour?”
“Brother, I’ve been in here since you flooded the bathroom last night.”
Nash’s frown deepened. Then, like last night in his brief moment of lucidity, the pieces seemed to slot into place. “Fucking hell. Not again.”
“You sleepwalk a lot?”
“Sometimes. More since Rubi hasn’t been around to sit on me.”
“He was around last night.”
“Damn. Who else?”
“No one. He told me to give you a cuddle.”
“And did you?”
Despite the distance, new heat flared between us, and I read the unspoken question in Nash’s eyes. “We didn’t fuck around, if that’s what you’re asking.”
