“Only three?” Nash watched me settle the baby, knowing that of all the sprogs around here, Hope was probably my favourite. “I can think of a few more.”
“Variations of the same,” Alexei said. “Where you were. Who you are. What you were doing.”
“Only feds would care about us paying off a bent copper.”
Alexei conceded Nash’s point with a slow nod. “I do not believe the club is a current point of interest for the authorities. It is prudent to continue your relations with compromised officers, but with time, this will become less necessary.”
“With luck, you mean,” Rubi grumbled. “Time never changes shit for us.”
“That is not true, old one. Think, all of you, of where you were five years ago, and tell me thattimehas not brought you something better.”
No, thanks. I didn’t need those images in my head, and I was saved from chasing them out by the tinkling sound my phone made when my kids remembered I existed.
Shifting Hope to my other arm, I fished the cracked iPhone from my pocket to face a flurry of messages.
Willow:My test is in ten minutes!
Willow:I’m so nervous!!
Willow:What if I drive into a fence again?
Fuck.
Guilt lanced my heart. Willow was seventeen. Her second driving test had been booked for months, but the fuck around of last night had let me forget.
I messaged her back, tuning out the debate at the table and typing with one thumb while Hope wriggled around.
Dad:u’ll be fine. last time was a fluke
Willow:It wasn’t a fluke. I turned the wheel the wrong way when I was reverse parking. It’s so confusing!!!
Dad:only cos u panicked. u parked just fine last week.
Willow:Because YOU WERE THERE.
Ouch. My kids were kinda feral. I never knew what fuckery to expect when I picked up my phone, but they had sweet hearts. They’d never punished me for all the times I’d let them down. They didn’t have to when I felt it in innocent words like that.
I tapped out a reply and pocketed the phone. In my distraction, the conversation at the table had died down and every face in the room was staring at me.
Fuckin’ awesome. “Sorry. My kid has her driving test.”
Rubi ventured closer. “When?”
“Ten minutes.”
“At the place on Mill Road?”
“Nah, the other one.”
“Keep your phone out,” Cam said. “In case she calls.”
Out where? I needed two hands for the restless angel in my arms, and it hit me harder than I was prepared for that I was holding someone else’s kid when my own needed me more.
She doesn’t need you. You taught her not to, remember?
Saint took Hope from my arms. In my morose distraction, I hadn’t noticed him move. “Sit down.”
It wasn’t a command, I knew that. Saint had a speech disorder and any words he spoke were a fuckin’ luxury. But I was out of sorts right now, grumpy and in my feelings, and it made me as stubborn as every fucker in this room, cementing my feet to the floor. “I’m fine.”
