Asking him felt wrong. Never-ending blowjobs aside, he’d done enough for me already. Wasdoingenough. This whole thing—none of it had been his choice. Fuck, he’dtoldme that we shouldn’t—
“Shh.” Folk was suddenly behind me again, both arms around me, his lips at my ear. “Whatever you’re thinking, set it on fire.”
“What if it was something good?”
Folk answered with a gentle bite to my neck, and I couldn’t fathom how normal it felt to be at the mercy of his casual affection. I hadn’t spent a whole night with someone in years. Hadn’t shared a bed. A hotshowerthat had nothing to do with the temperature of the water.
He retreated to his bag and dug out clean socks.
That didn’t feel normal. That his life was in a military duffle bag.
Maybe he likes it that way.
But what if he didn’t?
I took his advice and sent Lauren the nuclear bomb of a text message.
Then I got up and opened the top drawer of the dresser. It had fuck all in it because I didn’t have fuck all. “You can put your stuff in this one and the empty one at the bottom.”
Folk came closer and peered into the higher drawer. “I’ve lived out of a bag for fifteen years.”
“Know that feeling. Even when I had a house with Lauren and the kids, I was never there, so it didn’t feel like mine.”
Folk eyed the drawer. And then me. “You think Ben’s dad will ever try and take him?”
I shrugged. Thinking about it hurt, but it was an old pain. One I’d vaulted, for Ben’s sake as much as mine. “I hope so. I mean, it’ll be shitty for Ivy to lose him, but if I can get her full time... I don’t know. It’s all so fucked up.”
Folk rubbed my arm. “You send that text?”
I nodded.
“What’s she likely to do?”
“I don’t know that either. I’ve never had a relationship before, so this is uncharted territory. She might call you a pervert or something. Or snatch Ivy from school.”
“Lovely.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I knew what I was getting into with her. I might go back on the boats for a bit, though. If I can find some time. Be more upstanding in the community.”
“The boats?”
“Lifeboats,” Folk clarified. “I’m pretty useful in a storm. I did some rescue work when I first got sober, but Rocco needed me more, so it fell by the wayside.”
Useful in a storm. Only Folk could say that about himself like it was nothing. “Don’t do more dangerous stuff for my benefit. That you’re here... it’s enough. Anything else is just noise.”
“It’s not noise if it hurts you.”
Folk closed the drawer and left the room.
By the time I followed him downstairs, it was time for us both to leave.
16
FOLK
The slackness in my limbs was heaven. The loose, liquid sensation in my joints. I put a lot of effort into feeling healthy, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling as good as I did leaving Decoy’s house.
