The dryness was back, but despite the fuckingawfulthings Mateo’s young family had survived to get to this point, from my point of view, his life was pretty much perfect. He had two daughters, a husband, and an ex who loved him enough to call him her fucking hero.
I had a borrowed house and a desperate heart. “It’s okay,” I said, fighting to keep the flatness out of my tone. “I’m happy for you, man.”
Mateo eyed me through the haze of smoke he’d puffed out of his lungs. “You can be happy for me and still want to smack my smug trap.”
“You feeling smug?”
“Honestly?” Mateo pulverised his cigarette in the ashtray. “If I feel anything, it’s terrified. Last year I got everything I’d ever dreamed of handed to me on a plate. My kid. Em. Even having Ju in my life. Not hating on my mum as much as I always have. But what if it’s a trick? I’ve never been lucky, man. And I’m so fucking scared it’s gonna get ripped away.”
“That’s the balance of loving things, though, isn’t it? Being scared of losing them?”
Mateo grunted. “If you’re gonna lecture me about balance, I’m going to bed. I get enough of that at home.”
“Embry’s a wise man.”
“Not tonight, he ain’t. He’s mad as hell that Sambini’s gonna walk again.”
“Walk from us, maybe. Viktor’s not an enemy I’d want.”
“That’s business. This shit is personal for Em. He’s still fucked up that they did him like that. Don’t think he’ll be happy till every one of those fuckers is wiped off the earth.”
It sounded too fair for me to argue with. I let it hang in the air instead, until Mateo brought the conversation back to me. “I heard you’re getting a house guest.”
For fuck’s sake. Between Nash and Mateo, I hadn’t had much time to think about Folk moving into my house. The logistics, emotional and practical. As Mateo poured me a rum that would have to be my last, it began to sink in that when I got back from the haulage run, Folk would be living in my house.
Whatever that meant. I tried to picture him on the couch again, but despite the fact that I’d left him therethis afternoon, the image wouldn’t come to me.
Also, I’d have a hard time explaining that to Lauren. She’d already had a grand old time making noise about my “criminal” friends.
I mean, she wasn’t wrong, but still. There was an ocean of difference between working at the club and having a brother sleeping on my sofa every night.
You have a spare bedroom. He can sleep in there.
Couldn’t explain why that made the dinner I’d scarfed down curdle in my stomach.
I realised too late I’d left Mateo hanging. “Uh. Yeah. Cam was saying before today that he didn’t want anyone living alone. Nash thinks Viktor’s visit will push him over the edge, so he wants Folk to stay with me when Ivy’s home.”
Mateo tipped his rum down his throat, eyeing me over the rim of his glass before he set it down. “Folk’s a good brother to have around. He’s cracking with Juana and the girls when he guards them.”
“He’s great with Ivy too. Not sure if that’s gonna cause me more problems, though.”
“Because of Lauren?”
I nodded into my drink. “I haven’t figured out how I’m going to explain it to her. It’s not like I can tell her why he’s there. She’s going to see it as me having some random lodging on the couch.”
“Do what Rubi said then. Tell her you’re together and use it to help your other shit. Two birds with one stone and all that.”
“Am I the only one who sees how fucked up this could end up being?”
“I see it.” Mateo stretched around a yawn. “But whatever happens, Folk’s never going to fuck you over. He knows what this means to you—we all do. Think about it in simpler terms: you have a hot dude sleeping in your house for a few months, then you have the friendliest break up ever, and Ivy gets another fun uncle to keep. That’s all it has to be.”
“When is anything ever that easy?”
Mateo shrugged. “Never. But we’re owed a solid by the universe and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you.”
He left me on that note, stomping upstairs to the residence.
I checked the door was secure behind him and cleared the glasses away. Then I shut the lights off around me and found myself a couch to stretch out on, a heavy sigh escaping me as I sank into the beer-scented cushions. Military life meant I was pretty adept at falling asleep anywhere—a trait I’d noticed in Locke, and now maybe Folk. But the chip in my brain had been glitchy since I’d come home and tried to build a life with my kid. It took a while for me to doze off, and when I did, my sleep was that horrible, vivid trance that left you more rattled than rested. It was still dark when I woke up to the sound of vehicles pulling up in the yard. One car and a bike.
