Especiallynow. How was it that someone who made me so comfortable in my own skin could simultaneously make me feel like I was crawling out of it?
I wanted the answer.
I wanted tokiss him.
So I did. I pressed my lips to his in my owntest, and you know what?
We passed with flying colours.
7
FOLK
Seth had a sweet soul but lips like the devil. His big hands cupped my jaw, he kissed me, and every fragment of resolve I possessed disappeared as fast as the faint line I’d tried to draw beneath us. Beneaththis. The tidal swell of emotional sensation he brought every time we got close.
And of course I kissed him back.Of courseI did. Though, if this was the one thing I had zero willpower to resist, I’d take it.
He was still on the step above me. As he slipped his tongue between my lips, I fixed that, tugging him down to my level, my body finding an instant home against his, a sanctuary of solid muscle and man. Of the hot, inked skin I found beneath his faded T-shirt.
God, he felt good. I had a busy brain, my thoughts a constant chatter of responsibility, but with him, like this, it was so easy to empty my mind. To forget I had one outside of his touch.
I kissed him harder and we staggered a little.
A groan escaped him. Then he laughed and I couldn’t decide which sound I liked best. Didn’t have to as he smiled against my lips and kissed me again.
Too soon, though, it was over. Decoy pulled away, chest heaving, shaking his head. “Sorry.”
What for?
I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t catch my breath enough to form the words. And my pulse?
Off the scale. His kiss was a bona fide stimulant I should’ve been scared of. But I wasn’t. The only coherent thought in my brain wasmore, and it was only Ivy’s presence in the house behind him that kept me in place. That, and the very real fear that if I pushed this boundary, we’d never get it back. And then what?
It irritated me that I had no idea. Unlike Decoy, chaos did suit me, but ignorance didn’t.
Then again, neither did the remote possibility that he was already drowning in regret.
I reached for him, coaxed him back into my orbit, and brushed my lips over his. “If that was your version of the test, I’m guessing we passed.”
Decoy let his arms fall naturally around me. “Depends on a man’s parameters.”
“What were yours?”
“That I thought it was outrageous I didn’t get a chance to kiss you back last time. Now I’m wondering if the universe was trying to save me from something.”
“That’s not scientific.”
“I’m not a scientist. Just an idiot with mad feelings I can’t shift.”
“If that makes you an idiot, then I’m an idiot too.” To prove my point, I kissed him again. Andagain, it swelled into something we couldn’t control, knocking us both off balance until it was my turn to break away. “I need to go.”
Decoy nodded, slowly, bringing the back of his hand to his mouth, as if he could push it all back in. Wipe the slate clean, as if this had never happened.
But he couldn’t. And neither could I. All I could do was leave and find a quiet place to put myself back together, and this time, he let me go.
* * *
I didn’t sleep for a few days after I left Decoy on his doorstep. And not because his lips were so imprinted on my thoughts I couldn’t make them stop, though that didn’t help.
