River slid out, irritation screwing his face up before he registered that it was me. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” I crouched to see him better. “I came to see what all the noise was about.”
“Exhaust was being a cunt. You okay? Rubi said there was trouble last night.”
“There’s trouble every night.” I gave him the truth. “But I’d rather be fighting than having my belly sliced up.”
River expelled a noisy breath and sat up. “Embry puked blood all over Rubi. I thought they’d both been fucking shot or something.”
“You were there?”
“Yeah.” River shuddered. “And now I’m here, and you’re doing that thing where you use my bullshit to avoid answering questions about yourself.”
He had me there. Sometimes I wondered if Embry had known how cathartic coaching River would turn out forme. “I’m good. Just tired, but I’m gonna sleep on the road. That’s what I really came to tell you. I’m not going to be around for a couple of days. Off grid. So if you need someone to talk to...”
I trailed off as I realised I didn’t know the end of that sentence. When I wasn’t around, Embry was River’s go-to. But he wasn’t here. And neither was Rubi. Because other people needed him more. “Decoy’s around.” I thought on my feet. “He’s a good listener.”
“You’re assuming I have something to say.”
“I’m not assuming anything. Just giving you options in case you need them.”
“I won’t.” River reached for a spanner. “If I can’t hold my shit together when another brother is literally dying, I don’t deserve anyone’s fucking help.”
I disagreed, but he disappeared under the van again before I found the words to tell him so, and any other day, I might’ve coaxed him back out to reason with him. But I had too much on my mind. I left him in the hope that he’d been paying attention to the important bits and sought out the therapyIdesperately needed.
Decoy was moving wood around the warehouse, scowling at the mess someone else had made of his meticulous inventory. By the deep frown creasing his face and the tension in his broad shoulders, I knew word had reached him about Embry. That he was dealing with it alone.
My soulachedto go to him. But I’d run out of time. My phone buzzed in my pocket—the spiky rhythm I’d assigned to Alexei.
I had to go. And I didn’t know when I’d be coming back.
* * *
We rode an hour out of our way. Then ditched our bikes and commandeered the van we’d left at a secure location.
It took a while to get our gear together and complete the remote prep work. It was the afternoon by the time we hit the road again.
I drove first so Alexei could sleep—a rule I’d insisted on if we were going to dive together. Otherwise he’d leave me to snooze beside him all the way to Suffolk and I’d be going under with an unrested insomniac.
No, thank you.
The drive was dull and irritating. Snarled up motorways and diversions. The only entertainment was Alexei changing into clothes that made him look like a dive bum rather than exactly what he was. “You need more sun.” I spoke in Russian.
Alexei slid behind the wheel of the beat-up VW. “Quiet, Veles. Or I will kill you in your sleep.”
I laughed as much as I could while pondering Embry’s fate and missing Decoy and Ivy so much it felt like I had a hole in my chest. “Any updates from home?”
Alexei’s dry humour faded. “Not yet. He was still in surgery when I disabled the phones. We cannot be reached until we are done.”
I heaved a quiet sigh.
Alexei started the van. “This is where you tell me he will be okay.”
“Or you could tell me.”
But the truth was, neither of us could do that. I knew a hundred ways to keep a man alive, but not enough about why he was dying in the first place.
Quiet fell over us for a little while. Alexei wasn’t much for small talk, and I was supposed to be sleeping. But despite the motion of the van relaxing my body, my mind wouldn’t quit.
