Rubi came up on us before Embry could respond.
“Come on, kids.” He clapped his hands. “Hair-wash night.”
For once I was thankful for his expert clownship. I sidestepped Embry and took point, heading into the night with Embry and Rubi behind me.
The truck stop was busy.
Loud.
But there was nowhere louder than my own fucking body. My pulse was insane. Sweat beaded my back. Fuck, I was the one who needed a shower now.
Why did you tell him? You could’ve lived your whole life without this awkward as fuck moment.
Did I want to, though? Live without the awkward?Awkwardwas normal. Mundane, even. Nothing about Embry was ever boring, but I loved these moments. Needed them, or I’d have a fucking stroke, I swear to god.
I reached the building that housed the pay-per-use showers.
Nash waited outside.
He tipped me a nod. “All right?”
I grunted.
Nash accepted my answer and moved on, leaving Rubi and Embry to catch me up.
I didn’t look at Embry as he reached my side. I gave him space to go around and figured I’d got away with it, but he poked my ribs on his way past, softening the jab with a rub that made me sway on my fucking feet.
Don’t look at him.
I looked at the sky instead. It was a British summer night. Cloudy with a healthy dose of drizzly rain. Muggy, airless, but somehow cold too. I could see Jupiter if I looked hard enough, but that was it, and on closer inspection, I realised it was a plane and I was still a thick-as-shit idiot.
Embry disappeared into the building. The urge to track him was strong, but I forced myself to keep my back to the door. Nash had done his job. He was my brother. I had to trust him.
“It’s clear,” Rubi murmured, as if this arsehole had CCTV in my brain. “And you know he can look after himself, bro. He ain’t as fragile as you think.”
“He ain’t fragile at all.”
“Right. So relax. Damn it, Mats. You’re making me need a spliff.”
It was fucking hardcore to have so many sources of tension running through me. I stopped thinking about Embry getting jumped in the empty shower block and immediately worrying about the impact of what I’d said to him took its place. The awkward returned, but it was too sharp-edged to feel normal. It hurt. Like, legit lanced me with a sharp pain that took my breath away.
I rubbed my chest.
Rubi waggled his brows. “Indigestion?”
“Only from your cooking.”
“Liar.”
“Fuckoff.”
“Nope.” Rubi lit a cigarette and offered it to me.
Feeling masochistic as fuck, I waved it away and slipped a Polo between my lips instead.
The sweet taste grounded me, and I gave into the urge to crunch it between my teeth, replacing it with another two.
Rubi’s amusement was likely visible from space, but his phone rang, distracting him from taking the diabolical piss out of me.
