“Nah, he’s the real deal. Premium brand. And you know what?”
“What?”
“He’s the nicest bloke in the world. Works on the mackerel boats with Sol Bosanko. Looks after his kid. Cunt even plays guitar.”
“Ishefucking River, then?”
Rubi scowled. “No, but that ain’t my point. The point is he’s a sound bloke, but Ihatehim. Like wish-he-was-dead hate him, and you know why?”
I had a sinking feeling that I did, but Rubi was on a roll, so I let him speak.
“Because he’s there,” Rubi said flatly. “Sharing a home with Riv, eating, sleeping, laughing. Tripping over his fucking socks on the stairs. It’s all so easy and he don’t even know it.”
Yup. He landed where I thought he would and the phone smouldering in my pocket implored me to upgrade my arsehole status to nuclear levels, but maybe Embry’s kiss had impeded the ugly. I swallowed the nasty words down and let Rubi’s hang until he sighed and straightened up.
“All I’m saying is that I don’t care how shitty you are to me on the daily. I get it. But I’m not going to stop being there for Embry while you two are figuring yourselves out. I’d be a terrible friend to you both if I did that.”
“I don’t wish you were dead.” It was all I had, but the sentiment made Rubi smile. He stepped out of my doorway, signalling an end to the awkward exchange.Thank fuck.
Then he turned back at the last second.
Dammit.
“You sure there’s nothing else on your mind?”
My best glare set itself free before I could think to stop it. My darkest growl. “Like what?”
“Dunno. Anything. You’re an angsty mofo at the best of times, and I know Em getting shanked fucked with your head, but you seem like you’re breaking, bro.”
“I’m fine.”
“You didn’t eat your dinner.”
“Neither did you if you’re up here chewing my ear off.”
Undeterred, Rubi leaned in the doorway again. “Is it Saint? You missed that crazy fuckhead not being around so much?”
I had missed Saint. Nearly losing him to the reaper had hurt me almost as much as what had happened to Embry. But I was dealing with it. We all were. Playing on it to get rid of Rubi felt a hundred ways of wrong.
Trouble with wrong, though, was that it littered my fucking life. Twisted it up till I couldn’t see or give a fuck how to fix it.
I acknowledged Rubi with a clipped nod that softened his expression. Took sympathy and affection I didn’t deserve.
Then I hustled him out of my room and shut the door, already typing a message with my free hand.
Mateo:tell me you’re safe
8
EMBRY
Thursday morning, I woke again to a brother in my room. Not Rubi this time, Cam, or Nash. Or even Mateo. Instead, Saint stood, silent and unmoving, at the end of my bed, giving me no clue to what he’d done to pull me from whatever fucked-up, Mateo-fuelled dreams I’d been having.
The ones where he left and didn’t come back, because me kissing him in the cave had driven him off for good.
Chill. He was in a bad mood when he left because he couldn’t take his weed. His every thought doesn’t revolve around you.
It was a lot to consider in the first three seconds of being awake. My sluggish brain couldn’t compute. All I saw was Mateo’s brooding frown as him and Decoy had left the compound, and an ache scratched my chest.
