“A Trojan horse,” I supplied. “But we can’t use that analogy for everything. There are much better ones out there, unless you really want to read the Odyssey.”
“I’ll pass,” Cam deadpanned. “Regardless, I know it’s a grey area, but it’s all we have if we want this business to work. And we do. Unless anyone has changed their mind on that?”
No one spoke. Mateo liked the fight, but he loved the club more. Loved Cam, even if he didn’t quite believe he wanted nothing but the best for all of us.
Church broke up. Alexei disappeared. Everyone else moved slower, but I found myself the last person seated.
I was still holding the sandwich Mateo had given me. He sent me a hard stare as he left the room with Saint.Eat it, Em. Please?
How many times had I heard him say those words in the last six months?
Too many. And I hated the distress in his gaze when I couldn’t. So I stayed in my chair and picked at it, not noticing Cam until he claimed Decoy’s vacant seat.
“Not feeling good?”
“What makes you say that?”
“You used to be on the other side of the fence.”
“The ‘can’t cook, won’t cook’ fence?”
Cam wrapped his tattooed hands around a coffee mug. “The ‘hangry enough to kill people’ fence. You used to be on the same team as Nash, Rubi, and Mateo. Now you’re with Saint, Alexei, and my kid brother on the dark side.”
“I just watched Alexei eat a box of pancakes.”
“He’s a mood eater, like Saint, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’re bothmoodybastards.”
“That’s why you love them, though.”
“I love you too, Em. Something wrong?”
“Stop stealing my lines.”
Cam waited, pinching my best listening techniques too. But they didn’t work on me. My skeletons were locked up tight. They had to be, or I’d never swim out of the mess I’d made when I’d showed them to Mateo.
I gave up on the sandwich I was pulling to bits. “I’m tired, man. The last time I saw a doctor, they said I was anaemic. Maybe I’ll get that fixed tomorrow, eh?”
Cam leaned back in his chair, appeased but still with the air of a man with something to say. “What about Mateo?”
“What about him?”
“Are you two fucking?”
Cam was more than a friend. More than a president, he was my brother. When I’d been in so much pain I’d truly wanted to stick a gun in my mouth, he’d stayed with me every moment Mateo couldn’t. Sent Rubi to fill his place when Saint had needed him more.
He did love me.
But he didn’t know me. If he did, he’d never ask me that question. Not about Mateo.
Not about anyone.
“Why are you saying that to me when I told you last night he was still out with that girl from the Joker?”
Cam regarded me over the rim of his mug. “A couple of reasons. One, Alexei thinks Mateo has a secret and I wondered if it might be you. Two, I know that girl and she’s as gay as Nash thinks he’s straight.”
The single bite of food I’d managed to swallow turned to ash in my stomach. “Does it matter if Nash is straight or not? Last time I checked, he only had eyes for your sister.”
“Not my point, father.”
