It was like that sometimes, when we had the safety of our brothers around us. The pressure of being alone and messy faded and we could just be, knowing that nothing would happen that we couldn’t handle.
Thatyoucan’t handle.
Mateo... I had no idea what his limits were when it came to me. Just that I’d pushed him to the edge over and over and he was still here next to me, waiting for the next blow.
You don’t deserve him.
Cam was speaking again. I tuned back into the world and caught the tail end.
“—let Ranger go if he doesn’t want to be here. Folk... he’s a scuba diver, right? Or did I dream that?”
“It is true.” Alexei turned away from the window. “He was a soldier. How he ended up in this place with the Dog Crows, I do not know.”
Cam’s gaze landed on his lover and it settled him, a sight I was equal parts jealous of and happy to see.
I cocked a brow at Alexei. “Something wrong with bumfuck Devon?”
Alexei spared me a glance and shrugged. “Not at the moment. But a brother with those skills could prove useful to you in the future. Also, he is loyal to Rocco and grateful that Saint was idiotic enough to risk his life for his friend. If it was my decision, I would keep him around.”
Saint didn’t react to being called an idiot. Probably because it wasn’t true. The table had never debated his reasons for half killing himself to save a Crow, trying to rationalise Saint had always been impossible. But to me, his motives were obvious. If he hadn’t charged into that burning building, there was every chance the idiot in the room might’ve been Cam.
Our president.
Our brother.
Saint’s everything.
“Can you feel him out?”
It took a second to register Cam was talking to me. And that he meant Folk.
I nodded. “I’ll catch up with him later.”
Cam held my gaze a moment longer, spearing me in a way that should’ve made me squirm. But Mateo’s amber eyes cut deeper than Cam’s ever could. I won our stare down and Cam switched his attention to Decoy, Mateo, and the fledgling haulage business they’d set up with Alexei’s help.
They were killing it.
Alexei brought a laptop to the table and ran through the accounts slow enough that everyone except Nash kept up.
Five minutes in, Nash left the table, taking Ivy with him. The smell of bacon filtered into the room from the kitchen and he returned sometime later with breakfast.
Decoy took his cue, grabbing a sandwich from the tray with one hand and gathering Ivy with the other.
He said his goodbyes, then nodded to Mateo. “See you tonight. Pack for a few days, yeah?”
Mateo dipped his chin in agreement and my gaze darted between them fast enough to make my head spin.
“Where are you going?”
Mateo leaned across me, reaching for the breakfast Nash had conjured up. “Up north. Biggest load yet.”
“But you just got back—” Too late, I snapped my mouth shut, fighting the wave of...somethingthat washed over me. Disappointment. Dread. I couldn’t name it. Just knew it made my stomach churn and my skin prickle.He’s leaving again. It wasn’t a new phenomenon. Even with Saint back to full fitness, Mateo’s workload was insane. But a primal part of me I couldn’t acknowledge had been counting on his company. Craved it, as if he was a fucking drug.
Had it always been this way?
My mind wanted to drift back and figure it out, but my brothers were staring at me, even Alexei. Goddamn it, I’d fucked up. This wasn’t who I was to them. Who they needed me to be. “Uh—”
Mateo shoved a bacon sandwich at me and rolled his eyes. “All right, mate. Maybe I’ll see my old dear on the way. Take Decoy for some bocadillos and bad coffee. Leave me alone about that shit, okay?”
