“Why?”
He shrugs and I’m coming to realize it’s his favorite delaying tactic when he can’t articulate how he feels.
I wait. Time ticking by doesn’t bother me. Late. Early. Who cares as long as you show up with everything?
“I’m scared I won’t like it,” Kai says eventually. “That it’ll make me miss mountain rescue, and I’ll do something stupid like, I don’t know, go back.”
“You don’t want toevergo back?”
He pales so fast I forget his sun-kissed tan ever existed. “Hell no. I can’t…this is coming out weird, but…no. I can’t go back, rewind this bullshit, and live it all over again.” He stops and takes a breath. “Fuck. I never said that out loud before. You got truth serum in your eyeballs or some shit?”
It’s a hell of a speech. And for once in my life, I don’t have a smart-arse answer. Just a flailing hand that somehow lands on the solid warmth of his forearm.
Kai takes a breath. His gaze flickers between my hand and my face, confusion dancing in eyes that were haunted a split second ago. “Okay, forget about your eyeballs. Are your hands made of fuckin’ lava?”
6
KAI
Saying weird-ass shit isn’t usually in my wheelhouse—I have a ton of other flaws instead. But Joss’s sudden presence in my life has gifted me the ability to spew the first thought that flies through my brain.
Unfiltered.
Raw.
Lucky for me, he doesn’t seem to be a dude who blinks at the first sign of stupid.
He lets his scorching palm slide from my arm, giving weight to my theory that his blood is housing a goddamn volcano, because you know what?
I go cold without his touch.
Like, really cold.
I legit shiver, and this motherfucker smiles.
“Kai, it’s okay. If you’re triggered, you’re probably oversensitive to light and temperature. Look at the window.”
“What?”
“The window.” He grips my chin and turns my face to the sunlit window. The rays hit my eyes and I wince. “There. As much as I’d love to have magic hands, it ain’t me, mate. It’s you.”
His hand falls away. I shiver again and his theory makes sense, but I’m not used to this bullshit so early in the day. Usually, I get a couple hours before I remember to freak the fuck out aboutstupidfuckin’ things.
I want to ask him how he knew. How he took one look at me andknewI was rattling beneath my skin. But a door opens at the bottom of the stairs. Tanner appears, then Jax pops up behind him and everything’s different.
We’re no longer alone.
Joss’s face breaks into a grin so wide my face hurts in sympathy. He leaves my side and leaps down the stairs to Jax, his whole being lit up like the first sunrise of spring. They throw their arms around each other and hug so fuckin’ hardIfeel it, and Tanner does too.
He joins me on the stairs. “Been a long time.”
“How long?”
“Five years.”
Wow. Tanner’s the only friend I’ve had in my life that long, and until the last year, we’ve never been close. I envy what Joss and Jax are feeling now. To smile like that.
To laugh.
