Yet.The single word hangs between us like a taunt from the devil. I wonder if he knows the only reason I’ve somehow managed to keep from sliding inside him when he’s beenright thereis the messed-up philosophy that if I don’t fuck him I won’t fall in love with him.
Don’t fall in love with him.
Heh. I think it might be too late for that. God, I’m an idiot, and I’m old friends with that conclusion. It’s so familiar that I don’t stop to consider what it means to the here and now. I fix my gaze on Kai, tracking his frustration as it rises in him, and he takes a step forward. “Technically? So you’re saying I can’t feel anything for you because you haven’t put your dick in my ass?”
“What? No. That’s not what I said.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. I said—” Fuck, I don’t know what I said. And it’s enough to derail my obsession with his flashing eyes and balled fists. “Jax just meant I don’t always notice when someone likes me, and he’s worried you’ll get hurt when I leave.”
“So he told you to stop making out with me, huh?”
“He—”
“And you agreed with him?”
“I—”
“Fuck you.” Kai spins around and storms away.
For a heart-stopping moment, I freeze. Then I realize that it’s his retreating back that’s giving me organ failure.
I run and reach him at the door to his rustic house.
He’s stabbing the lock with a set of keys, fury vibrating from every muscle, every pore. Touching him is usually the easiest decision I make all day, but I hesitate now, and he moves on before I figure out which way is up.
The door swings back behind him.
I catch it and step over the threshold of his home.
It has the same sandalwood scent as his bedroom in the apartment. The same warm and cozy feeling. Some of the furniture is even the same.Because he made it.With his bare and beautiful hands.
He’s standing in the center of the open-plan living space, facing the fireplace with his back to me, illuminated by a single table lamp. In one corner is a tiny kitchen. In the other is a double bed covered with rustic pillows and an Aztec blanket.
I like it but appreciating the vibe of his house just makes me miss him more. And remember why he doesn’t live here. Why Jax’s concerns mean something.
“Kai.”
“What?”
His tone is simmering with irritation, but I know it’s deeper than that. He’s not a man who loses his temper over the little things. And he’s not a man who would throw an apology back in my face, but I reckon that’s what’ll happen if I tell him I’m sorry again. “Don’t be fucked off with Jax,” I say instead. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Why’d he say it, then?”
“Because he cares about you, and he knows I’m an idiot.”
“Why are you an idiot?”
“Born this way.”
Kai spins around fast enough to give me whiplash just watching the bloke. “Don’t say that.”
“Say what?”
“That you’re a fuckin’ idiot. I meant why does Jax think you’re an idiot in this situation. Because he thinks I’m straight? Or because I’m too screwed up to know my own goddamn mind?”
“None of those things. I already told you—”
