“It would scare me too. In fact, it did—it all did, until you taught me how to do it right.”
“Taught you?”
“I’ve never wanted to bottom, and for a long time, even after I left Jen and came out, I thought that made me, I don’t know, not gay enough to call myself gay, or some shite, but you showed me otherwise. You showed me how loving a bloke was about far more than who put what where.”
Jodi traced a pattern Rupert couldn’t decipher on the jade-green tablecloth. “I’ve been trying not to think about that bit. I think I knew, on some level, that I was ... that you ... Fuck’s sake. I knew I was the bottom. I just couldn’t handle what I thought it meant.”
Rupert raised an eyebrow. “What did you think it meant?”
“Probably everything I taught you it didn’t. Or maybe I was scared. You’ve got a big dick, haven’t you?”
As ever, Jodi’s ability to swing a conversation like a waltzer made Rupert’s head spin. “I guess you’ll find out, soon enough, if you ever want to, but it doesn’t matter. I’d never hurt you like that, or any other way. You have to know that.”
“I do,” Jodi said. “I’m still scared of it, but I want to do it, if you want to?”
They’d barely kissed. Talking about fucking felt surreal. Rupert reached across the table and took Jodi’s hand, absorbing his tremble. “How about we just go home and share a bed? Sleep. Breathe. Be together. The rest will come in its own time.”
Jodi nodded slowly. “Yeah. Let’s do that. Let’s go home to bed. You’ll stay with me, won’t you? Like you said?”
“Every night till you ask me not to.”
* * *
Rupert took Jodi home with every intention of coaxing him into bed, tucking him up, then watching over him while he fell asleep. And perhaps Jodi let most of it happen with the same good intentions, but like everything recently, things changed in the blink of an eye. A rustle of clean sheets and a heated gaze. A brush of lips and bare skin on bare skin. Then clothes disappeared and suddenly Rupert found himself half-naked and on top of Jodi, on the verge of doing all the things he’d told himself he wouldn’t do.
“Stop thinking.” Jodi gripped Rupert’s face and kissed him fiercely. “Just let it happen.”
Rupert kissed Jodi back, pressing him deep into the mattress. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know ... I don’t care. Please, I don’t want to stop.”
Rupert didn’t want to stop either. Couldn’t, even if he’d tried. He rolled over, taking Jodi with him so Jodi was above him, and raised his arms over his head, gripping the headboard and ceding control. Jodi met his gaze. Rupert nodded.Take what you need. I’m yours.
Jodi ran his hands over Rupert’s bare chest. “I don’t know what to do. I mean, I know what I’d do if you were a woman, but I haven’t got a clue where to start with you.”
“Maybe it’s the same.” Rupert drove his hips up gently. “Just do what feels good, like you taught me.”
In answer, Jodi leaned down and blew warm air over Rupert’s chest, then closed his lips around Rupert’s nipple.
Rupert gasped and threw his head back. Jodi had always had a way with his lips and tongue and—fuck—his teeth. Closing his eyes, Rupert groaned, long and loud, thankful he’d seen the downstairs neighbours head out for a night at the bingo earlier.
Jodi moved down Rupert’s body, exploring and reacquainting himself with Rupert’s sensitive spots. He found every one with no guidance from Rupert—his ribs, his appendix scar. Then he reached Rupert’s waistband and froze briefly, before he fumbled with the button of Rupert’s jeans.
He pulled them over Rupert’s hips, taking Rupert’s underwear with them. “Wow.”
Heat flooded Rupert’s cheeks. It felt like he’d had a perpetual boner ever since Jodi had first let slip that sex was on his mind, but he’d done everything he could to ignore it—cold showers, thinking of his bloody mother. He’d even gone as far as to pretend he didn’t have a dick at all, and he hadn’t had a wank in ... damn. He couldn’t remember. Since the accident, pleasuring himself had been the last thing on his mind, and before ... Jodi had always done that shit for him.
And done it so well just the sketchy, surreal memories of those heady encounters were enough to make his cock jump.
Jodi jumped too. “Jesus. It’s fucking huge.”
“Piss off.” Rupert hooked his hands under Jodi’s shoulders and pulled him up the bed in one smooth movement. “Leave my dick alone if it scares you so much. We don’t have to do anything—”
Jodi silenced him with another bruising kiss. Rupert took the hint and reached for Jodi’s jeans, undoing them and sliding them over Jodi’s slim hips. He left Jodi’s boxers in place, but Jodi had other ideas.
“Fuck that,” he said. “I want to be like you.”
Rupert snorted. “No, you don’t.”
