I blinked. “What?”
“Kiss. Him.” Alexei grasped my chin hard, no mercy in his grip. “I know you want to.”
Did I? Unbidden, my heart took a trip down memory lane, to the windy summer night on a damp northern beach and the first and only time my attraction to Saint had got the better of me. I’d wanted to kiss him then. Nearly had. But my dad had walked up on us, and a year later, he’d been dead at the side of the road.
“Cam.” Alexei squeezed me harder, his gaze piercing my soul. “Don’t hide from it, and don’t hide it from me. I like it.”
I couldn’t have hidden it from him even if I’d wanted to, not with Saint a heartbeat behind him, still holding his shoulders, still silent and beautiful.
Wrenching my face from Alexei, I found Saint, and his forest-green stare terrified me, like it always had. My lips tingled, and my blood rushed.Kiss him.Fuck. Could I? After all these fucking years?
Slowly, I reached over Alexei and slid my fingers along Saint’s jaw, my thumb finding a natural port on his cheekbone. His face was rougher than Alexei’s, the scruff covering it more like mine than the velvet of Alexei’s neat beard. His hair, though. Fuck, it was like silk as I tangled my fingers in it and tugged him closer.
He came willingly, his face impassive, but I knew him better than that, and the inferno in his gaze reeled me in.
I kissed him, touching my lips to his and sliding my tongue into his mouth with none of the hesitance I felt in my brain. Kissing Alexei was the adventure of a lifetime, but this?
It was like coming home.
22
Cam
Somehow, we made it to the bed, my lips still fused on Saint’s while I kept a death grip on Alexei’s hand. In the depths of my mind, I knew he was smirking, and I didn’t care.
So what? He’d been right. I’d never denied it, not even to myself.
I manoeuvred Saint onto the bed, half expecting him to fight me. He didn’t like being manhandled, not even by the women we’d shared in the past.
But he didn’t resist. He let me lay him down, still kissing him, and cover him with my body before he drew back and looked beyond me to Alexei. He didn’t speak, but I knew what he wanted.
“Lexi. Kiss him too.”
Alexei lay down on the bed beside Saint. He eyed Saint and did that thing with his fingertip on Saint’s chest that drove me fucking crazy when he did it to me. “Is that what you want? Both of us? Because you can just have Cam.”
Saint swallowed, fighting for words. I rubbed his forearm where Alexei couldn’t see.It’s okay. He’ll wait for you.And I knew Alexei would. I’d never told him my brother who couldn’t speak was Saint, but there was no way he wouldn’t see it now. No way he wouldn’t understand.
Alexei claimed the rum bottle and brought it to Saint’s lips.
Saint took a drink. A breath. And reached for Alexei. “I want you both. I don’t know why, but I do.”
I knew why. Because he was in love with me but unable to resist Alexei, and Christ, if I didn’t know how that felt.
Or had felt. I wasn’t in that place anymore. I loved Saint as much as I always had, but goddamn, I loved Alexei too. I watched him lean down, breath caught in my throat. He’d always kissed me like the viper he was, sharp and dangerous, but he was careful with Saint. Their kiss was almost sweet. Only the rising heat between them gave them away, their dicks as hard as mine.
Alexei pulled back from Saint and turned to me. By now, he was more on top of Saint than I was, and I loved how that looked, how Saint gripped Alexei’s hip, while Alexei kept his hands on his chest.
I loved how impossible it was to tell who was the light and who was the dark.
“What do you want?”
It took me a second to register that Alexei was talking to me, and even longer to deduce that I had no fucking idea. I was already in heaven; I couldn’t comprehend anything else.
Alexei glanced back at Saint. I wondered if he’d ask the same question of him or if he knew Saint wouldn’t have an answer either, but not because he didn’t know.Because he can’t say it.
There were other ways of communicating, though. I reached for the rum, took another healthy swig, then rolled off the bed and moved to the chair tucked under the desk I never used. “Show Alexei what you want.”
Saint’s gaze flickered to me. It was bottomless and tormented. If he’d been a different man, I might’ve felt bad for skewering him on the spot. I didn’t, though. Alexei had asked me whatIwanted, and it was this: him and Saint, however it played out. I could watch them kiss forever.
