Cam didn’t answer with words. He kissed me, smashing his lips to mine and driving his tongue into my mouth. Thrown by the impact, I staggered back, enjoying the weight of him as he chased me down, forcing me against the wall. The fire in my veins burned hot enough to fight him off, but I willed it away. This was Cam. He’d never hurt me more than I wanted him to.
I let him tear at my clothes and close a rough hand around my cock, grunting his pleasure when he found me already hard for him. He shoved his jeans down and spun me around. Then he was gone for a moment and I panicked as if I’d lost him forever.
“Cam?”
“I’m here.” He covered my back again, his slick, sheathed cock probing me, sliding home, sure and sharp, gifting me the pain I needed to ground myself.
He held my hip with one hand, the back of my neck with the other. We’d been here before, but it was different this time. Now, he didn’t hesitate. Or second guess what I could take. He punched into me and fucked me hard, and I pushed back against him, always,alwaysseeking more.
Cam gave it to me. He slammed his hips to mine, his thick cock grinding inside me with each powerful thrust. It throbbed and it burned. Ithurt. And for the brutal minutes I held out, I loved it.
Then I came as if a bomb had gone off inside me, sudden and violent. Pleasure surged and my cock erupted without external stimulation, swaying me on my feet as Cam groaned behind me, his climax a wild shout and a fist to the wall.
A convulsion wracked him, but he held me up.
Just.
We were a mess.
But we are messy together.
The errant thought startled me.Together.No. We would not be. Wecouldnot be. Cam had a life that did not allow for what we had. And me? I was too broken for a man like him. Cam was a rough diamond. I was a black soul. A dead one. He did not deserve my nightmares.
“Hey.” Cam nuzzled my neck and I shivered. “Wanna take a shower with me?”
Weak as I was, I could not refuse.
Cam led me to the bathroom attached to his clubhouse bedroom and we shed the clothes that he’d neglected to remove before fucking me against the wall.
“What happened to your shoulder?”
“Hmm?” Dazed, Cam’s sharp question caught me off guard.
“Your shoulder, Lexi. It’s slashed to fuck.”
“Slashed?” I turned to look at the wound in the mirror, the mark of a cheap kitchen knife the third man who’d come upon me had tucked into his boot. “You exaggerate. It is a scratch.”
“From where?”
“From a stupid man.”
“Who?”
I faced Cam, absorbing his set jaw and stubborn frown. He was not an easy man to lie to, so I didn’t try. “I did not catch his name. Do you know the name of every man who has hurt you?”
“Don’t play games with me.”
“Are you scared I will win?”
“I’m scared we’ll both lose.” Cam reached around me and turned the shower on. “And I’m scared I won’t know how to live when you’re gone.”
Saint will show you. I bit my tongue, letting my thoughts stray to Cam’s sergeant-at-arms. He wasn’t here, in any sense of the words. I’d known it the moment I’d set foot on the compound, even as the other brothers milled around, pumped from the fight they’d won—for now—but ragged and tired. I tried not to wonder too hard where he’d gone. If he was safe.
If he was coming back any time soon.
Cam sighed and nudged me toward the steaming spray. “Let’s get clean so we can go to bed.”
“You want me to sleep with you?”
