“Cam ain’t interested in hard product. He wants to move away from that too, so we’re letting it go, bit by bit, unless they piss us off enough to nick it off them.”
“That is the game.”
I spoke to myself as much as Saint, but he nodded and finished his second smoke, again, ashing the butt and tucking it away.
He caught me staring. “So the birds don’t eat it.”
Okay. “Cam also told me about the fight and the interloper with the gun.”
Saint straightened, looming over me in a way that would’ve annoyed me with anyone that wasn’t Cam. “Did he tell you what happened next?”
“Yes.”
“Did it surprise you?”
Lying came easy to me. It was a way of life when you lived in the shadows. But lying to Saint Malone was harder than I expected. The words stuck in my throat, and for a brief moment, I once again understood what it was like to be him. “It did not surprise me.”
Saint nodded. “That makes sense too. What I can’t work out is why you haven’t told him.”
“What do you think would happen if I did?”
“Honestly?”
“Or you could tell me untruths and waste our time.”
Saint’s stare intensified, his frown growing deeper. “I think he cares about you enough to worry you’d get hurt. He’d want to protect you as much as you want to protect him, and—”
“It would be a distraction,” I finished for him. “That could get him killed as much as an unimpeded bullet.”
Saint hummed his agreement and we reached that magical place where our motivations aligned. Emotions were complex beasts that did not need to be defined to wreak havoc, but in this case, our shared affection for Cam gave us a common goal: to protect him at all costs. I’d known before this day that Saint would die for Cam, but if we worked together, perhaps he wouldn’t have to.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I retrieved it and swiped the screen, opening the listening software linked to the device in the Crows’ loft.
I made no effort to hide it from Saint and he took the bait, moving so he could peer over my shoulder.
“Who are you listening to?”
“Not here.” I jerked my head at my car. “Follow me.”
He nodded and stepped away to head back to wherever he’d hidden his bike. He was a heartbeat away from the undergrowth when I called his name.
Saint turned around. The rain had cleared while we’d talked and winter sunshine dappled his face. “Yeah?”
I opened my car door and rested my elbows on top. “You have not asked me why I am doing this.”
Saint fixed his gaze on me, taking me hostage with his forest-green gaze. “I know what it’s like to see him for the first time and know you’ll never be the same again. That pain in your face when you talk about him? I see it every time I look in the goddamn mirror.”
He melted away before I could respond.
17
Cam
I found Rubi asleep in the clubhouse bar, stretched out on the couch often used by brothers to get a blowjob in a quiet corner, his arm flung over his eyes.
Before he’d taken a scaffold pipe to the skull, I might’ve kicked him awake, but I settled for ducking behind the bar and slipping into the wash-up area to boil the kettle for tea.
He hadn’t moved a muscle when I came back. I put the tea on a nearby table and shook him, careful not to jostle him too much. I already knew he wasn’t going to admit to having the mother of all headaches, but he didn’t have to. Orla had updated me the moment I’d got off my bike.
