“Did you want to?”
Alexei poked at the pasta I’d cooked in a horny, anticipatory daze while I’d waited for him to appear like an apparition at my back door. “Perhaps. And myself too. I like to take things to my limits.”
“Is that what happened? Did I help you with that?”
“You helped me.”
I gave into the ravenous hunger rumbling inside and shovelled food into my mouth, chewing before I answered. “Is my debt cleared?”
Alexei ate a small bite of food, a slow smile teasing his lips. “The fair answer would be yes, but I’m not sure I am sated enough to walk away from you just yet.”
“Maybe I’m not enough for you.”
“If you think that, you should call your bodyguard—”
“He has a name.”
“Which is?”
“Saint.”
“Saint.” Alexei nodded, his smile deepening. “Yes, you should call him in to help if you think you cannot handle me.”
It was too close to the bone, and something in my face must’ve said so.
Alexei treated me to a penetrating stare, then set his plate aside and stood, moving to the open window. He searched the outside world below and nodded when his gaze clearly fell on Saint. “What is it between you two?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the current I can see that runs from him to you and back again. Are you lovers?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been?”
“No.”
“But you wish you could be.” He nodded to himself again, like it all made perfect fucking sense.
Irritated, I gripped my plate, fighting the sudden and ridiculous urge to throw it against the wall. “What makes you say that?”
Alexei sat down beside me again and gifted a knowing smile. “He’s a beautiful man and he cares about you more than he cares about himself. Why would you not want that?”
“I want you.”
“That does not negate anything I just said. You could have a thousand lovers, and what is between us would be the same.”
“Is this you telling me thatyouhave a thousand lovers?”
“No. I have just you right now.”
Relief I didn’t deserve passed through me. I had no right to demand monogamy from him. But, fuck, the thought of a man who wasn’t me in his bed made me want to kill someone.
“Cam.” Alexei closed his hand around my forearm, squeezing tight a moment before he let go. “All I’m saying is that it’s okay to feel what you feel. Don’t be afraid of it, because feeling nothing is so much worse.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I cleared my plate in silence while Alexei picked slowly at his. Sensing he needed a moment, I slipped away to the shower. When I came back, he’d eaten half what I had and set it aside.
“You don’t eat much?”
