“I—” I rubbed my lips, willing my brain to work. “Okay. I mean. I’m all right, Riv. Honest. Just got some shit to clean up, then we’re good, I promise. As legit as we’re ever gonna be.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do. It’s every other cunt.”
“What about Rubi?”
River’s distant gaze snapped to me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He ain’t a cunt.”
“I didn’t mean brothers.”
Brother. The word was starting to blur in my head. “Where did Alexei go?”
River sighed. “He didn’t leave. I told you, he said he wouldn’t.”
“When?”
“When you were sleeping off a shit ton of blood loss and fucking horse tranquillisers or whatever. Man, you were so sick from that crap, I thought you were gonna die.”
I felt like I had. “I need to speak. Fuck.” I turned back to the sink and stuck my good hand beneath the tap, scooping up water to run it through my hair.
It made no difference whatsoever, but River laughed, and that made all the difference in the fucking world.
30
Alexei
River O’Brian watched Cam speak to the crowd of assembled brothers, keeping to the shadows like I did but on the other side of the yard.
I kept eyes on him for no other reason than it distracted me from the urge to run away. Not from Cam, but perhaps from myself.
Not that I would’ve got far. Cam was distracted, but I felt Saint’s penetrating gaze on every inch of my skin, and I did not mind it much.
Cam spoke like a leader. He made no promises and told no lies, but it was enough. The brothers that dropped their cuts and left were not his brothers at all.
After a lingering, yearning glance at the Rebel Kings’ road captain, River O’Brian left too. Cam watched him go, then sank onto the stone steps in front of the clubhouse again, flexing the fingers of the hand trapped in the sling, testing the dislocated thumb I’d reset while he’d been unconscious.
His expression was distant, his skin pale in the dim light of the early evening.
I sat beside him and claimed his other hand, sheltering the gesture in the shadow his bigger body cast over mine.
He chuckled. “You don’t have to hide that for my benefit. No cunt here would fucking dare.”
“Dare what?”
“Come at me for who I love.”
“You love me, Cam?”
“As much as I can when I got no clue who you are.”
That was fair. But I wasn’t his priority right now. I could not be when there were so many other things claiming his attention. “You will have your church soon?”
“When Mateo gets back. He’s on his way.”
