Saint wove his fingers into my hair and tugged me off him. “Doesn’t mean you want it.”
“You think you know my mind better than I do?”
“Your mind isn’t all you are.”
It was too profound for my biker-addled brain to dissect. I gave up and returned to the one thing I could do to pull Saint out of his head.
His cock slid between my lips like an old friend. Saint’s answering shiver was dynamite to the explosives Cam had already laid, and a coil unfurled in my belly. I didn’t come, yet. But I heeded the warning and gave myself up to the preliminary blast.
I sucked Saint harder, no longer caring how he felt about the fact that it was my mouth on him and not Cam’s. He wanted this. He wantedme. And I gave it to him as well as I could with Cam pummelling me from behind.
Reality began to blur. Cam reached a part of me no one else ever had, but Saint’s pleasure at my touch, the bewilderment in his gaze as his composure slipped away, was a drug to my black soul. I wanted him to come, to fall apart beneath me, but I didn’t want this to end. I wanted Cam to light that rocket inside me, then kill me so I didn’t have to face the fact that the magic he’d gifted me was temporary.
I didn’t want to lose him.
And... I didn’t want this to be the last time I saw Saint like this either. How I felt about him was brand new and undefined, but it mattered.
Saint mattered.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, he made a sound that stuttered Cam’s rhythm. We reached for Saint at the same time, me flailing wildly for Saint’s arm while Cam’s hand clamped down on his chest, pinning him in place.
Saint groaned again and threw his head back, arching his neck in a way that revealed a faint, jagged scar I hadn’t noticed before.
A scar that had come from a knife to the throat.
My heart stopped, and as his climax peaked, pouring from him and into my willing mouth, another section of the iron curtain around me fell.
Someone hurt him. And I hated whoever that was as much as I hated the person foolish enough to put a price on Cam’s life.
Beneath me, Saint trembled, his earth-scented skin shiny with sweat and the mess I’d made of him with my mouth. I coaxed every shudder and gasp from him, then pulled back to look at him, to drink in his hooded, bloodshot eyes and the rapid rise and fall of his chest.
He was destroyed by whatever he was feeling and he didn’t fight Cam’s hold on him, which surprised me. He loved Cam, and he felt something beyond desire for me, but he wasn’t a man that enjoyed touch when his emotions were high. I’d known this the moment I’d seen him step away from his brothers at the end of the first Crow brawl I’d witnessed, avoiding their fraternal embrace.
This seemed different.Heseemed different. As Cam found that sweet spot inside me, I watched Saint descend to earth. Watched him register my fingers wrapped around his forearm and Cam’s big hand on his chest and feel nothing but warmth, and the sense of awe and wonder returned to me.
He needs this as much as we need each other.
There was no time to ponder what that meant. Cam let Saint go and returned his hand to my hips, tightening his grip on me as his cock pulsed inside me. Without a condom between us, I felt everything—every twitch and surge, every drumbeat of frantic desperation as he chased his release while stalking mine.
He did not have to wait long for me. Sensation gathered in my muscles and nerves, and fresh heat sluiced through me. I buried my face in Saint’s abdomen, dimly aware of his gentle fingers holding my head, and I came hard, taking Cam with me as he roared behind me like a lion claiming his kill.
I floated for a while after. Cam fucking me often left me like this, subspace without the pain I’d searched out in the past. Cam didn’t need to tie me down and whip me. He just needed to care—it was enough.
He was enough.
Saint was... oh, I did not know. I let him pull me towards him, then roll me onto my back. Fatigue oozed from every facet of him, but I sensed he would not rest until he found in me what he was looking for.
Cam left the bed. He came back with a damp cloth and cleaned up most of the mess we’d made. Then he lay down beside me and lolled his head on my bicep, halfway to sleep. I turned away from Saint to face him and tugged him against me, letting him bury his head in my chest.
Behind me, Saint’s uncertainty threatened the temporary peace we’d carved out.
Do not leave.To be sure, I reached back and claimed his hand, tugging him closer until he was pressed against me and could reach Cam if he wanted to. For a moment, he lay so still I wondered if he’d died.
Then he curved his body around me, stretched to tangle his fingers in Cam’s hair, and fell asleep with his head on my shoulder.
His trust in me made what I had to do next hurt more.
It was a long time before I made myself leave them.
