I shrugged. “I never asked. I was in a weird place and not thinking right. It wasn’t his fault. And the sex was…okay, I guess. I just feel kind of empty when it happens without all the stuff we talked about, and I hate that feeling. It makes me—” I snapped my mouth shut. I didn’t want to talk about that. Not now, not ever. I’d fought too hard to push it away.
But Rami wasn’t a man who could be pushed away if he dug his heels in. How many times had I seen him coax the worst pain out of offenders whoneededto talk, but didn’t know how?
So many.
He was still rubbing my back. “Did it make you want to not be here anymore?”
His whisper was deafening.
I nodded with a heavy sigh. “For a little while. And having sex with someone who didn’t care much about me didn’t make it better.”
“It wouldn’t. No-strings sex is only fun when you come at it from the right place.”
“Like you do?”
“Like I have done, sometimes. When I’ve used it as a distraction method for shitty things happening in my shitty life, I’ve just ended up feeling more, well, shitty.”
Rami frowned deeper at the word repetition peppering his statement, but it was a comical expression that made his face adorable. I laughed, and he bit my shoulder. “I’m not that funny.”
“Not on purpose, maybe.”
“Dick.”
“Yup. It’s not always for you, though, is it? Dick, I mean? You’re bi, right? I always got that vibe from you.”
Rami nodded. “Pan if we’re splitting hairs. I’m down for whoever if I’m attracted to them.”
“Even a moody lumberjack with a cacophony of mixed signals?”
“Your signals are just fine. We’re attracted to each other, but we like and respect each other too much to fuck around with our beautiful friendship.”
“Sarcasm?”
“No. I told you already. I heard you. We don’t have to keep talking about it.”
I couldn’t tell if I was irritating him or not, or if, maybe, he was just bored with talking in circles. Either way, I let it go and kissed him again, letting whatever happen and trusting him—and myself—enough to go with the flow.
We wound up pressed against the side of the mountain, warming our hands on each other’s skin, our lips fused together. I wondered if I could come from just kissing him. It sure felt that way, and I loved that, even if it scared me.
I also loved the sensation of his hard dick against my leg. I ached to touch it, squeeze it, and take him in my mouth, but it was too cold for anything like that, and perhaps it was just as well.
For now.
Okay. My brain was having a fine old time tonight, wasn’t it? Or maybe it was my cock. Whatever. If and when I ever did bang Rami Stone, I didn’t want him to get frostbite for his trouble.
I stopped kissing him and lay my forehead on his. “I should go.”
“Busy day tomorrow?”
“Not really. But I don’t want to kiss your lips right off your pretty face.”
“You’re a sweetheart.”
“I know. What areyoudoing tomorrow?”
“Going home to get some clothes.”
“To Manchester?”
