Jax chews on his bottom lip. I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I could rescue it, but drunk me doesn’t have the patience for wishes. I swipe it to safety with the pad of my thumb, then retract my hand as if it’s a normal thing to do, and wait for him to make something coherent out of whatever’s going on in his head.
He drinks more wine. So do I. Then he sighs and clatters his empty glass onto the coffee table. “My parents are good people, but they’re hippies, you know? All tie-dye and campervans. No structure or direction. All my school mates thought they were the coolest fuckers out there, but it doesn’t seem that way when you’re the one going to school without the right uniform and no homework done because your mum doesn’t believe in rules.”
“Were you close to them when you were young?”
“Not really. I mean, I thought I was, but looking back, I was just kind of there while they drifted around never really doing much. Huh…maybethat’swhy I’m shit at making decisions.”
“You decided to be a pro surfer and come to America, didn’t you?”
Jax snorts. “What else was I gonna do? I’d already dropped out of uni because I didn’t know how to manage my own life. If I didn’t surf, I had nothing.”
And then he lost that too.The wine I’ve drunk settles heavily in my stomach. The lightness his company gifts me fades a little, and I fight to keep it from disappearing. I want to know more about him, so much more. Even the stuff that makes my heart stutter and my gut clench.
But when I look at Jax again, his head is tipped back against the couch and his eyes are closed. He’s done for the night, and perhaps that’s for the best.
* * *
I wake with a headache, but hangovers don’t bother me. I’m more concerned with the fact that I don’t clearly remember crawling fully clothed into my bed. I’ve been blackout drunk before, but never with an audience. And I don’t even remember drinking that much.
Huh. Maybe I was drunk on Jax.
Whatever. It’s ten o’clock in the morning and isn’t that something?
Damn.
I roll out of bed and into the shower. By the time I shuffle into the living room, Jax is nowhere to be seen and the only evidence of our wild night is the empty bottles on the kitchen counter and the full bowl of stale Cheetos that’s still on the coffee table.
The sight of them makes me laugh, and it’s unnaturally loud in the empty apartment. Or perhaps it’s just I don’t laugh that often, especially when I’m alone.
I tip the Cheetos into the garbage under the sink and rinse the bowl. Jax has already washed the glasses we used, and I wonder why he left the bowl. Then I wonder where he’s gone and berate myself for obsessing over him. It’s Sunday. He’s not working, and neither am I, but I have other shit to do that I’m already late for.
And I’m never fucking late. A fact Eve throws in my face when I show up at her old apartment a half hour after I’m supposed to, driving my car for the first time in more than a week. Yeah, I’m that lucky. In a country where most people live in their vehicles, I’ve scored an atypical life where everything I need is within fifty feet of my apartment.
Everything except Eve, my brother, and the ability to appreciate it.
Eve is waiting for me on the street and wrenches my car door open before I’ve shut the engine off. “You said you’d be here at ten.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I overslept.”
“You don’t do that.”
“I know that too, but I got pretty lit with your boy Jax last night. Blame him.”
I don’t really want her to blame Jax, but I see Gabi’s fear for me reflected in her gaze, and I need it gone. I can’t look at her and see my brother staring back at me. Not if she wants me to spend the day carting her life from her old apartment to her new house.
Eve wins the stare-off, but she sighs when I look away. She tugs me out of the car and into a hug. “Sorry, T. It’s been a long day already and I miss him, you know?”
Of course she does. Eve has been in love with my brother since high school, but he’s never around to tell her he loves her back. He’s a fool. Eve is the best girl in town. If she wasn’t practically my sister, I’d probably love her that way too.
“He said he’d call tonight.” As if that makes it any better. “Don’t tell him I was late, though, okay? I don’t need that aggravation.”
Eve laughs. It sounds wet, but she’s clear-eyed by the time she lets me go. “I won’t say a word. How’s Jax? Does he look as bad as you?”
“Dunno. He was gone when I got up.”
“But you had fun, though, right?”
“Think so.”
