“That’s what you’re going with?”
“That’s what I’ve always gone with, because it’s what I do. Why do you think I stayed away from this fucking place for so long?”
“Same reason as everyone else!” Gus shouted. “Because you’re scared of how you feel about everything, and too selfish to face up to it. I’m the only idiot in this family who had to do that.”
“I—”
“You what? You don’t agree? Well, you know what? I don’t give a shit. I didn’t get to run away from this place—from any of it. I didn’t piss off to the Navy, or marry some douchebag in France, or just plain fuck off into the night leaving everyone else to spend the rest of their lives worrying about me. I was alone from the day after I buried my mother until the rest of you started drifting back, and you know what? I’m still fucking alone because none of you care enough to let go of all that and stop hurting each other just for the fucking sake of it.”
I’d never heard Gus swear when he wasn’t talking about sex. I’d never heard him raise his voice when he wasn’t laughing. And I’d never seen his eyes as wild as they were right now, even when I’d had his dick in my mouth.
I reached for him. “Gus—”
He evaded. “Fuck off. Don’t talk over me with your bad temper and big words. I don’t care anymore, okay? I don’t care why you think the rest of the world deserves whatever you throw at it, and I don’t care how that makes you feel. Just fuck off, okay? I’m done, with all of you. I’m fucking done.”
Gus pushed past me, his big arms sending me barrelling into the wall. He was gone before I could stop him, and the van roared to life a moment later.
He left.
