Get along.It had been the mantra of my childhood, as far as me and Billy were concerned. Thing was, wedidget along...until we didn’t, and then nothing and no one could make it right until one of us backed down. Usually me, because I was the oldest and copped the blame for justabout everything. If my parents had been older, wiser, and not winging it, perhaps they’d have fixed us instead.
I said goodbye to Fran and went back inside, retreating to the lobby the nurses on Billy’s ward had banished me to when he’d told the whole world he didn’t want me anywhere near him.
I’d gone the third time they’d asked and was now faced with the prospect of getting a hotelfor the night or admitting defeat and leaving Billy to Fran.
The selfish part of me, wounded by Billy’s rejection—and so fucking angry that everything about him had to be so damn difficult—wanted to go home. To rag Fran’s Ford Fiesta back down the motorway and block out another part of my fucked up life. But I couldn’t leave Billy on his own. Not again.
I threw myself into a chair andpoked around on my phone, scouting for nearby hotels. As luck would have it, there was a Premier Inn across the road. I booked a room and drifted back to the ward to try and tell Billy where I was going.
The nurse at the desk frowned. “I’ll ask him, but this is the last time. If he doesn’t want to see you, you’re going to have to leave.”
I waited without much hope and was as surprisedas the nurse seemed to be when she granted me entry.
“The painkillers might’ve kicked in,” she said. “Either way, visiting time is up in ten minutes.”
I doubted whatever conversation Billy had acquiesced to would take that long, but followed her direction to the corner bed anyway and ducked around the curtain. Billy was sitting up, his shattered shoulder caged in a metal brace, rods protrudingfrom his flesh and bone.
Fuck. I had to look away, even though his derision was harder to face. “I’m getting a hotel for the night.”
“Why?”
“Because Fran won’t be here until tomorrow.”
“So?”
My fists clenched at my sides. Billy didn’t break my gaze, but I knew he saw my frustration. Revelled in it, like he always had, because he inexplicably hated letting people understandhim. “So... I’m not going to leave you here on your own.”
Billy laughed, though it was cut off by a wince. “That’s never bothered you before.”
“Maybe I’ve changed.”
“Have you?”
“You tell me, bro. You’re the expert on my personality.”
“You don’t have one.”
Ouch.But compared to Billy, I didn’t. Before he’d morphed into ASBO dude, he’d been a goddamn riot. Charismatic. Funny.And just about charming enough to forgive when his fiery temper got the better of him. I’d been the opposite, the moody older brother who’d been happier playing football than talking to people. I’d never quite understood why a girl like Mia had gravitated to me. If she’d looked a year behind instead of ahead, her and Billy could’ve been dynamite together.
“Did you seriously come in here tostare at me?”
“What?”
Billy shook his head. “You’re a freak, man.”
“I’m not the dickhead who fell off a roof.”
“Nah, you’ve got Dad’s ladders and Uncle Jon’s business to keep you safe.”
“You could’ve had all that if you hadn’t fucked your life down the drain instead. Jon wanted to retire years ago.”
Billy made a sound low in his throat. “How the hell would you know? I don’tremember him writing you any letters.”
“He told me when I got back. Said he’d been hanging on, hoping you or me would get our act together so he wouldn’t have to sell.”
“And it was you that saved the day. Shocker.”
“You think I want to spend the rest of my days stapling felt to wood beams?”
