His obsession with my body temperature was cute. And kind of left field, as he hadn’t seemed too concerned with incinerating me the last time we’d seen each other. I took the lid from the cup and peered inside. “Oh. I thought it was coffee.”
“Nope. Chocolate. You like sugar, right?”
I grinned and took a sip from the cup. “Hell yeah. I bet you only drink that pond-water tea Harry does, don’t you?”
“Sometimes. But I’m not as disciplined as him. I like sugar, and caffeine, and beer. Red meat and doughnuts. Moderation works better for me, but I try not to give it too much thought. Rules make me nervous.”
I couldn’t imagine Cole ever being nervous about anything. But was that really him? Or was I comparing everything to the version of Cole who was most on my mind. The one who knew how to play my body better than I did.
Not everything’s about sex, dude.
I watched Cole tuck Ella’s coat tighter around her. My heart squeezed, and I didn’t know why.
“Anyway.” Cole shifted Ella to his other hip. “We better go. Ella hasn’t had breakfast yet.”
“What’s she having?”
Cole swung his gaze back to me, forehead creased in a puzzled frown. “Erm... I don’t know. Porridge? Maybe? Why are you asking me that?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay.” I slid my board into Joe’s van and shut the door. Ella’s presence made it easier not to think about kissing Cole against the battered panelwork, but I still wanted to do it. I wondered if he wanted to kiss me too. Then he turned his attention back to Ella and the reality that I was the last thing on his mind made me feel like a self-absorbed idiot. “So I’ll see you later then?”
“Hmm?”
“Later,” I repeated. “I’ll see you around?”
“Oh. Yeah. Maybe.” Cole backed away from the van. He didn’t seem to have anything else to say, and words didn’t come to me either.
I got in the van and the engine rumbled to life.Drive away. It’s not that hard.
But it was hard, and the sense of something unsaid stuck in my throat. Cole was the coolest dude I’d ever met, but alone in the sandy car park, the wind blowing in his face, he looked so lonely that I couldn’t bring myself to leave him. I wound the window down and beckoned him closer. “Do you want to do something tonight?”
“I have Ella for the next three days, mate. We can’t hook up while she’s in the house.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
His puzzled frown returned. “What did you mean then?”
“I don’t know... that you could bring Ella to see the donkeys at feeding time, maybe? They love kids, and they never bite.”
Uncertainty still marred Cole’s face. I wanted to reach out and rearrange his features so he couldn’t frown anymore. To smooth the lines from his forehead and turn his lips the right way up. I settled for focussing on Ella while Cole dissected my invitation, or whatever else was going on behind his complicated gaze. I didn’t want to think about it too much, so I didn’t. I let Ella slap her tiny palm on my hand and pulled stupid faces at her.
I was good at stupid.
And it made Cole smile too, without me having to knead his face back the way I wanted it. “What time do the donkeys have dinner?”
“Around six. And it’s always me that does it. Look, don’t stress about it, just come find me if you want to, okay?”
“Okay.”
Cole backed away again. And this time, I made myself put the van in gear and drive away.
* * *
Cole didn’t come to find me, and the next few days passed without me seeing any sign of him at all. His car didn’t move, and the blinds of the cottage remained shut. At least they did every time I stole a glance at the cottage, which was approximately every ten minutes.
