“Trust me, you don’t want to.”
“You don’t miss the money?”
“Nope. I miss having something to do every day without having to think about it. And I miss being good at something. But I don’t give two fucks about anything else.”
“You’re good at training other people. I see the progress messages your clients post in that WhatsApp group. They pop up on your screen.”
“Yeah, so I can read them without having to go in and reply. I’m a shit trainer because I’m too lazy to properly commit.”
“Liar.”
He disappeared into his bathroom. I wanted to follow him and push him into the shower so we could have dirty, wet sex, but we weren’t there yet. And, despite Sam waiting on me hand and foot for the last twenty-four hours, my leg wasn’t up to it. A slow walk to the library was about all I could handle, and only because Sam’s presence would distract me from my embarrassing shuffle.
I forced myself out of his bed and took a shower in the other bathroom. When I got out, my phone was ringing. Freddie, obviously; no fucker else ever called me. “’Sup?”
“Not much. Just checking in.”
“Why? You wanna hit the gym tomorrow? I’m busy today.”
“Yeah, about that.”
“About what? Me being busy? I know it’s a rare thing, but I do have a life, you know.”
“I know. I meant about hitting the gym. I’m gonna have to give it a miss for a while.”
“You hurt yourself?”
“Nah.”
I paused in the action of jamming my toothbrush in my mouth, belatedly picking up on Freddie’s tone. It wasn’t like him to be so fucking awkward. That vibe was all mine. “What is it then?”
“It’s the club, man. They don’t like the attention we’re getting. Said it’s a distraction we don’t need right now. They asked me to stay away from you until the end of the season, in public, at least.”
Cold water flooded my chest. “They really said that?”
“Yeah. I mean, they were super careful to stress that it wasn’t a gay thing, but it was pretty clear I’m gonna spend the rest of the year on the bench if I get papped getting all handsy with you again.”
Handsy. He’d put his fucking arm around me because I’d been angsting over someone else. Because he was my friend. But I guess even that was toxic.Iwas toxic to anyone unfortunate enough to get close to me.
There wasn’t much else to say. Freddie said his goodbyes and hung up, leaving me to stare at myself in the mirror and imagine I could see my heart thundering in my chest and the betrayal dripping through me. I didn’t blame Freddie for complying with his club or even the bosses for asking him to, but I hated that it hurt me so much. Hated myself for letting it.
Sam knocked on the bathroom door. “Did you get lost in there?”
More than you know.
* * *
Sam
Micah was in a mood. He was trying to hide it but failing miserably. And I was failing miserably in my attempts to make him feel better, but for once I didn’t blame myself. Micah wasn’t like everyone else. Simple things didn’t cheer him up, and given that we weren’t at home so I couldn’t ply him with food until he cracked a smile, I was fresh out of ideas.
We sloped into the library. I’d been planning on taking a desk upstairs and working for most of the day, but with Micah to entertain—or not—I ditched that idea and headed straight for the cavernous fiction section.
Micah trailed behind me while I searched the aisle for something to keep him busy. It took a while, but eventually I shoved a copy ofIn One Personat him and pointed at an armchair. “Go sit.”
He grunted and did as he was told.
Rolling my eyes, I left him to it and found a quiet corner on the next floor to practise my essay questions.
