Ludo
Aidan looks how I feel—tired, fragile, and frightened of something he doesn’t understand. He’s also in a mess, half out of bed, one foot hovering over the floor, frowning as though he doesn’t remember how he got there.
I’m no use to anyone, never have been, but something drives me to take his arm and ease him back onto his bed. “You look like you’re trying to escape.”
“I am.” But Aidan lets me manoeuvre him until he doesn’t have the appearance of a desperate man on the edge of a cliff. “Whoa, you’re strong.”
“Why does that surprise you?”
“Because you’ve only got one working arm and you’re skinny as fuck.”
He has a point, but it’s not one I’m prepared to concede. Being freakishly strong, despite a lack of timber, runs in my family. Ask my cousin Angelo, and tell him I said hi. You might have to remind him who I am, but hey. No conversation is ever wasted.
Aidan is staring at me, and I realise I’ve done that thing—the one where I get lost in a bitterness that drowns me if I let it. Most days I have bigger problems than the fact that my family have forgotten me, but others it sneaks up on me and I can’t help listening to the meanest of many voices in my head.
You aren’t even crazy enough for them to remember.
Aidan clicks his fingers in front of my face. “The fuck did you go?”
I blink. “What?”
“Never mind.”
He drops his hand, his gaze too, and I feel totally exposed. The panic that drove me from my bed to seek him out returns and a strangled sound escapes me. I thought he was dead, for no other reason than I came out of my infection-induced haze to find him gone. A rational person would’ve figured he was moved to a lower dependency bed, but I’m not a rational person.
Aidan drops back on his pillow and winces as the jerky movement ricochets through him. “I can’t handle this place.”
“Cabin fever?”
“And then some. I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t see daylight soon.”
“There’s a window right there.” I point to one two feet from his bed. “It’s dark now though.”
Aidan’s gaze flickers to the window. “See? I hadn’t even fucking noticed.”
“Why would you when you have other things to worry about?”
“Because thatiswhat I’ve been worried about.”
I can’t argue with his logic, and I worry that I’m keeping him up. It’s the middle of the night and he should be sleeping, or resting if he’s like me and finds the silent ward deafening. I step back. His hooded eyes flare and he sits up again.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“What does?”
Aidan has no answer to that. I claim a point back, and the implication that he wants me to stay makes me feel... alive, I guess. After a quick glance at the deserted nurse station, I sit on the chair at his bedside. “When did they move you here?”
“Yesterday, maybe? Or maybe it was today. I’ve lost track.”
“Me too.”
“I’ll bet. You’ve been asleep for days.”
“Have I?”
