“Me too.” Jude wrapped his arms around himself. Before we’d left, I’d helped him into the clothes Rae had somehow known he’d need, and donated the badger hoodie to keep him warm. It looked good on him, but then, most things did.
He was quiet for a while, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep again, then he jerked upright, his eyes wide. “You told me you loved me.”
“I did. I do.”
“That was real?”
“It is real. That okay with you?”
“Of course it is. I just can’t remember if I returned the sentiment.”
“You did.”
“Good.” Jude sat back in his seat as my heart skipped. “Because I really do, and I wouldn’t say that shit if I didn’t mean it.”
“Neither would I.”
“You really wouldn’t, would you?”
“No.”
He fell silent again, and I drove on, pondering what would happen next. Jude had been discharged with a follow-up referral to see the specialist in a few weeks’ time, but the million questions I’d managed to keep to myself had gone unanswered. It seemed that Jude’s condition was unpredictable. His next seizure could strike tomorrow, or give him a year before it happened again. It was inexplicable, and I hated that.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Hmm?”
Jude rubbed my leg. “You’re brooding.”
“Not on purpose.”
“Wouldn’t matter if it was. It’s not a crime to be introspective.”
God, I love him so fucking much.“I was thinking about you.”
“Should I be worried?”
“No.”
“What happened to make you different?”
“Different?” I chanced a glance at him. His gaze was clearer than it had been since the day before. “How so?”
“You seem…” He seemed to struggle to find words. “Free.”
I couldn’t contain my grin. “You think so?”
“Thinking isn’t my strong point right now.”
“That maybe so, but I guess you’re right. I didn’t want to get into it in the hospital, but I meant it when I said I’d told the whole fucking world. Dom, Lucky, Rae, and Cash, they all know I’m in love with you. The only people I care about who don’t know are the kids, and I’m going to tell them later.”
Jude raised an eyebrow, before his forehead creased in a pained frown. “You told everyone?”
“Well, not on purpose, and I’m fucking livid with myself that you had to go through this for me to see sense, but yeah. I told them.”
“What did they say?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t seen Cash and Lucky, but Rae was solid as fuck—”
