Mina nodded slowly. “So Dom met him then?”
“No.”
“But he knew about him?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
Mina raised a perfect brow. “Jesus Christ, Isha. So you kept him away from me, away from Dom, and had him pretending to be something he wasn’t in front of the kids? I take it back. Youarean arsehole.”
“I know.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“About what? About Jude?”
“Unless there’s someone else you’re missing hard enough to put you in this state.”
“There isn’t.”
“So.”
“What?”
Mina slammed her hand hard enough on the counter to make me jump. “Isha, this can’t go on. Even if things with Jude are beyond repair, what about the next time you meet someone? Are you going to put him through this too?”
I snorted. “Jude’s the first dude to ever turn my head enough to go beyond fucking. What are the chances that I’ll meet someone else?”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard you say, but if it’s true, then you still need to do something. Make things right with Jude. Tell Dom. Tell the kids…I’ll get them now.” Mina straightened and started for the kitchen door.
I grabbed her arm. “Mina!”
She stopped and ripped herself free, folding her arms across her chest. “Okay, so we won’t tell the kids right now, but you should tell Dom. Tonight. Just tell him, and then take the kids home. It’ll be fine. What do you think he’s going to do? Ostracise you for being as queer as he is?”
If only it was that simple. I knew Dom wouldn’t be angry that I was queer. It was the betrayal that would gut him. That we’d shared a secret all along, but I’d let him weather it alone. I couldn’t tell him.
But I had to.
Mina was right. This couldn’t go on. And if I had any chance of Jude wanting to even be friends, something had to give.Ihad to give.
I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to come to such an obvious conclusion. What the hell was wrong with me? Had I seriously believed the half-life I was living would be enough for anyone to want to share it with me? Or that the alternative was something I’d never want?
Fucking hell, I can’t handle this shit.
But I had to. Right now.
I kissed Mina goodbye and hustled the kids out. Tottenham wasn’t far away, but the journey seemed to take twenty years. I parked outside Cash’s house and herded the kids inside. Voices reached me from the kitchen and Lucky came out.
“Dom’s in the shower,” he said. “One of Rae’s mates is over for dinner, if you want some?”
“Nah, I’m all right. Can I put the kids in the living room for bit? I won’t be long once Dom’s free.”
Lucky’s gaze flickered. He was an intuitive motherfucker. “Of course. I’ll put the X-Box on. There’s juice cartons and snacks in the fridge from last time they were here.”
He ducked into the living room while I left the kids in the hall to take their shoes and coats off. I stuck my head in the kitchen, fully intending to grab enough bribery to keep Delilah quiet without speaking to anyone, but the sight that greeted me stopped me short.
