“It’s what I’d be thinking if I was you.”
“Why?”
“Because weird shit happens when we touch. It can’t all be about sex.”
I wished it was. And then I didn’t. I could have sex with any willing bloke on Grindr and walk away without glancing back. Not Jude. Never Jude. “If you were me right now, what would you do?”
In the sink, Jude’s hands stilled. “You’d come up behind me like you did earlier, kiss my neck, and press up against me. You’d say no when I asked you to stay the night, but you’d really fucking want to say yes.”
“And then what?” I whispered.
“You’d go home, but after you’d checked on your kids, I’d be the first call you made in the morning.”
He wanted me to stay. I wanted to stay. But we both knew I wouldn’t. I came up behind him and kissed his neck. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.
He’d already said it.
* * *
“What are you smiling about?”
I glanced up at Lucky. “Hmm?”
“You’re smiling,” Lucky said. “I thought you’d given up on it.”
“On what?”
“On being happy.”
I scowled and shoved him away. “Piss off, kid.”
Lucky wasn’t a kid. He’d been to hell and back before any of us had ever known him, but we had a strange fraternal relationship that precluded to him treating me like an old man, and me responding as though he was an annoying child. It worked for us, even if the little shit was far more astute than many gave him credit for.
Happy. It was an exaggeration, but I couldn’t deny the lightness I’d carried since the evening I’d spent at Jude’s house. I’d bottled calling him—what the fuck would I say?—and he hadn’t called me, but we texted back and forth most days, and if my meeting with Dom went according to plan, by the end of the day, I’d have an excuse to visit Thorston tomorrow.
Rae drifted into the kitchen, as ever managing to appear half asleep and freshly fucked at the same time as being razor sharp. “Mornin’,” he drawled. “Why do you look so chipper?”
“Why are you even saying that? I look exactly the same as I always do.”
“Hmm.” Rae came closer, and I swore I could smell sex on him. “I can’t tell, but there’s definitely something. Did you get laid?”
“Fuck off.”
“You did, didn’t—”
He stopped talking as Dom came in the room, adding weight to my assessment that he was more awake than he appeared. Dom knew I kept my private life to myself, and he wouldn’t let anyone hassle me about it. Not that I needed Uncle Dom to stand up for me.
Rae backed off and started cooking breakfast.
Dom dropped a folder in front of me. “The bricklaying firm we hired has connections to a stag hunt in Shropshire. We have to drop them.”
“Okaaaay.” I opened the folder and quickly shut it again. Since meeting Cash and Rae, I’d seen enough of that shit to last me a lifetime. “Can we do that?”
“You tell me. Contracts are your thing, bro.”
“Remind me again what you do?”
Dom sat down beside me. “Everything else.”
