“Jude, you’re not the arsehole here. We’ve been over that.”
“Right. So you’d stop the kids coming to the shop because of this?”
“No.”
“So what?”
Isha sighed and knocked his head on my shoulder. “I don’t know, okay? I just know that I fuck everything up on a personal level all the fucking time. I make bad decisions and hurt people, and I always end up back where I started.”
I dropped my head. For long moments any articulate response I may have made was lost to the teasing sensation of Isha playing idly with my dick. I wanted him to yank my trousers down and fuck me against the counter.
I wanted him to forget about the sex and have dinner with me.
My cock didn’t understand why I couldn’t have both.
I eased myself out of Isha’s grip and returned his wandering hand to him. “I don’t care who you’ve hurt before. There’s no reason we can’t fuck and be friends. We’re grown-ups, Isha. Deal with it.”
Fourteen
Isha
I liked it when Jude bossed me around, even if it did remind me constantly that I had the emotional maturity of a sullen child with no friends.
He packed me off to the living room. I wandered in and let his parrot out of her cage. Of all his animals, she was the only one I could approach without trepidation, and I chuckled as she stomped across my shoulder.
“Hello,” she crooned.
“Hello, yourself.” I stroked her head and took her to the window, though it was dark enough that she wouldn’t have been able to see much.
It occurred to me too late that Jude might not have wanted his neighbours to see a half-naked man in his window. Then I had to wonder why it had taken me so long. At my own house, I’d be all over that shit—blinds closed, lights low. Erasing all trace of visitors within minutes of them leaving.
“She likes you.”
“Hmm?”
“Frances.” Jude came into the room and set two plates on the coffee table.
“How can you tell?”
“She’s quiet. I used to take her to work with me, but she went off like an air raid siren every time she didn’t like the look of someone, which was about sixty times a day.”
“Good girl.” I gave the bird one last scratch before I put her away.
I washed my hands in the kitchen. When I came back, Jude was staring into space, but it wasn’t with the vacancy that had seemed to plague him since the seizure. It was speculative, and that shit made my skin crawl.
Didn’t stop me dropping onto the couch beside him, though. I had zero clue what the fuck was going on, but I couldn’t stay away from him. I had to touch him, while I had the chance. “What’s for dinner?”
“Uncle Ben’s. Korma. Not a veggie, are you?”
“Nah. Some of my friends are, so I don’t eat meat when I’m with them, but I don’t have the discipline to give it up entirely.”
“Me neither. It helps that I can’t afford to buy it that often.”
The glimpse I’d stolen of Jude’s accounts flashed into my mind. His spreadsheet had been shambolic to say the least, but from where I’d sat, I hadn’t seen any evidence of him paying himself a salary. “Do you own this house too?”
“Yup.” Jude handed me a plate. “Well, kind of. I missed a mortgage payment a couple of months ago. I might have to sell it if I can’t keep up.”
“Where would you go?”
