Lacking any less traumatic ideas, I wrote a post on cubbing, wincing every time my stomach turned, and praying Cash had a plan for cleansing my soul when he finally showed his face. Time slipped away, as it did whether I was having fun or not, and it was only the front door slamming sometime later that pulled me from my work.
I saved my words, and took a quick glance at myself in the mirror. Shadows circled my eyes, but that was pretty standard these days, as was my shambolic hair. Nothing I did would tame it, so I gave up, and slid down the ladder of Cash’s attic bedroom.
His voice carried up the stairs, soft and Irish, but deep enough to make my heart skip a beat. I was drawn to him—and reluctant to be caught loitering on the landing—so I drifted downstairs, caught in the net of his melodic laughter.
I found him in the kitchen; Lucky’s cat perched on his shoulder, eating cheese out of his hand. “I guess she’s staying, then?”
Cash turned slowly to look at me. “I can think of worse things to come home to. I’m not cleaning that fucking litter tray, though.”
He directed the last comment at Lucky, but I couldn’t pull my gaze from him. His cheek still bore the mark of our anarchic weekend, but beyond that…he was so damn beautiful he made my knees weak, and I realised with a start that it was the first time I’d seen him happy.
Sober and happy, at least, unless he’d sunk a few pints on the way home.
I approached him with caution, giving the cat time to object before I touched either of them, but she was a different animal to the creature hiding by the microwave a few hours ago, and she accepted my proffered hand with a chirruping purr.
“She likes you,” Cash said.
“She didn’t earlier.”
“Just scared, poor thing. She’ll be right after a few days.”
“She got a name yet?”
Cash rolled his eyes. “Victoria. Lucky reckons his imagination needs a spliff to work right, but he reckons she’s a little queen already.”
I was inclined to agree, but I sensed something simmering beneath Cash’s words and left it alone.
Cash finished fussing the cat and deposited her into the plush basket I hadn’t noticed earlier. With his hands free, he didn’t seem to know what to do with them.
I took pity on him and gave him a hug, drawing him tight against me in the kind of embrace I’d dreamed of before I’d even met him. He was slightly taller than me, his neck the optimum height for me to bury my face in. I slid my hand into his hair and rubbed his shoulder. “I missed you.”
Tension melted from Cash, as though he’d been holding his breath since I’d walked into the kitchen. “Yeah? I missed you too.”
I tilted my head back to look at him. Gorgeous green eyes stared back at me, clear and warm, untainted by the madness we had in common. A few weeks ago, kissing him again had seemed fantastical, as if our first encounter had happened to other people, but it came naturally now. Our lips met with a soft brush, and then with more purpose. The stubble on his jaw scraped the soft beard on mine, and I wound my arms around his neck.
We fit together so perfectly I almost laughed.Almost, because there was nothing funny about how kissing him made my heart jump and my skin tingle. About the haze fast descending over my mind. Coherent thought abandoned me, and for as long as his lips were on mine, there was nothing else.
Too soon, Cash pulled away with a barely audible chuckle. “I’ve been dreaming about that.”
Dreams seemed to be a recurring theme in my life right now, but I couldn’t deny the relief that rushed through me.He feels it too.
Thank fuck for that.
A breathless laugh escaped me. “I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been on my mind the whole way here. I don’t remember enough of the last time we did that.”
“Perhaps I can fill in the gaps for you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Later, though. I think Lucky and Dom are going to his place for the night.”
“About that...Dom, I mean.” I knocked my head on Cash’s chest and reluctantly let him go. “You could’ve told me my hallucination was real.”
Cash turned away to open the fridge. “I wasn’t sure he’d be here.”
“And if he hadn’t you’d have left me to believe I was fucking tripping?”
“Maybe. I’ve never really brought anyone home, so I don’t know how to handle the Dom thing. It’s kinda complicated.”
