“Uh, the slop, I guess. I like campfire cooking.”
“Not Sprig style, you wouldn’t, but Fletch—fuck. I’ll tell you about it another time.”
That he was holed up at a service station, sick and sore, belatedly returned to me. I stole Lucky’s fags from the back porch and lit up. “Sounds good. Are you going to be okay driving the rest of the way?”
“I think so. But Cash?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for asking.”
The line went dead. I drew the phone away from my ear and stared at the screen, but there was nothing to tell me if we’d lost connection, or Rae had simply hung up.
Pride kept me from calling him back. The last few days had stripped me of my fucking senses, but I’d about reached my limit of being ruled by my screwed-up obsession with Rae. He had my number. He’d call if I could do anything for him…right?
As hard as I tried, I wasn’t convinced, but there wasn’t much else I could do. I dragged myself inside, thankful the house was quiet, and retreated upstairs. A hot shower cleared my mind a little, but I still couldn’t decipher the disquiet churning in my stomach. Hooking up with Rae had seemed so simple, but everything that had happened since was so convoluted I couldn’t think straight. I hated Rae for reigniting the fire in my belly, and I hated myself for fighting it, but most of all I hated the inhuman bastards who had lit the first spark.
The hot water ran out. Dazed, I turned the shower off and went to bed. Sleep seemed far away, but somehow I was barely awake when my phone buzzed a little while later.
Unknown:I’m home.
Chapter Ten
Rae
Rae:You win
Cash:who’s this?
Rae:Rae
Cash didn’t reply straight away, so I set my phone on my burning chest and went back to dozing, still mourning the clean bed in his spare room, even though it had been eight days since I’d left it. Fletch had found me a mattress from somewhere to keep in the back of the van, but even away from the elements, it had nothing on sleeping on sheets that smelled like Cash.
Cash:what did I win?
Rae:I got bronchitis, so I was a walking microbe after all…
Cash:r u ok?
Rae:Yeah. I’m sleeping in the van—thanks for that—and mainlining amoxicillin. Be fine soon enough.
Cash:good.
Good? Was that it? After all he’d done for me at his house, I’d kind of been counting on more than that, though quite what I’d expected, I wasn’t sure. The burn in my chest had sent me crazy, and despite everything my people were doing to look after me, the concern in Cash’s gaze haunted me.
The concern I’d thrown back in his face.
God, I was an arsehole. A confused arsehole, no less. No one around here seemed to know anything concrete about Cash, but the general consensus was that he’d been an ultra sab until something huge had happened to break up his unit. Something that had hurt him enough to go to ground for years, only for me to rock up on his doorstep and drag him back.
This wasn’t a new conclusion, but I’d had a lot of time to think over the past week, and most of it had been about Cash. I didn’t get him in any way whatsoever, but something about him was painfully familiar. The hurt in his eyes hurt me too, and I didn’t know why.
Cash:are u heading out this weekend?
Heart skipping, I tapped out a reply.
Rae:Nah. Everyone else is, but you won that too. I’m no good to them right now.
Another long pause stretched out. I stared at WhatsApp, willing the two tiny grey ticks to turn blue, and it seemed like an age before they did.
