“Don’t.”
Leo shivered. His fear was hard to swallow, but Charlie would take it over his habitual apathy any day of the week. Besides, lying over Leo like this, their legs, hips, and chests moulded together, was enough to distract him from just about any emotion Leo could throw at him.
He drew back from the game of mercy he’d been playing with Leo’s skull. “It’s going to be okay. Fliss said you can have her room if Mum and Dad want us farther apart—and that if we tell them now, it should be enough for them to deal with social services. It’s if we get caught that there’ll be trouble, especially while we’re both fifteen.”
Leo’s eyes blazed, and Charlie thought for a moment that he would kiss him, but then Leo sighed, and the scorching heat between them passed, chased away by a ruthless reality that couldn’t be ignored. “I didn’t think you were ready to tell anyone you’re gay.”
Gay. Despite being certain of his sexuality for as long as he could remember, the word still hit Charlie like a train. Kate and Reg would barely blink, he was sure of it—his friends too—but what about the rest of the world? Oh god, what aboutschool?
Leo touched Charlie’s face, the featherlight trail of his fingertips along Charlie’s jaw more grounding than anything he could have said. “Just because you tell your parents, doesn’t mean anyone else has to know.”
“Is that what you want? To keep it a secret? Because if people find out about us, they’ll know you’re gay too.”
Duh, obvious much?But if Leo thought Charlie was as daft as he sounded, it didn’t show. He merely shrugged. “I don’t care who knows about me. Only reason I don’t talk about it is because it’s no one’s business. Besides, it’s not like my reputation around here isn’t already fucked.”
Leo had a point, and Charlie couldn’t imagine that anyone at school would mess with him after what he’d done to Darren Stroud. Wouldn’t stop them coming after Charlie, though—
“Stop it.” It was Leo’s turn to press his forehead into Charlie’s. “No one has to know, okay? Not if you don’t want them to. Nothing has to change. You said it yourself.”
“Did I?”
“Yes, when you were rambling about having something to tell me. I thought I was about to get dumped.”
“Oh . . . well, you’re not, if that’s any consolation.”
“It is.” A ghost of a grin warmed Leo’s features. “So, anyway . . .”
“What?”
“I’m just thinking that if I move to Fliss’s room, we won’t be able to do this anymore.”
“‘This’?”
And then it clicked, and the way they were lying made itself known again. Charlie flushed and ducked his head, trying to ignore the yearning desire in every part of his body to be as close to Leo as possible. But it was no good. Leo was right. Once they’d told Kate and Reg, their nights of creeping across the landing to snuggle in bed together were over.
The need to make the most of their freedom was abruptly overwhelming—for Leo too, apparently, as he rose up to meet Charlie’s kiss. Their lips met, sweetly at first, but then harder as the heat they’d lived with for so long took hold.
Leo rolled them, pressing Charlie’s back into the mattress, and holding him there with his weight. Charlie gasped and dug his fingers into Leo’s back, fisting his T-shirt, and wondered if he dared stake a claim on the skin that lay beneath.
I want to touch him.
I need to touch him.
Resolved, Charlie fought Leo for dominance, and won, rolling them again, and tugging at Leo’s T-shirt until Leo gave in and pulled it over his head.
Oh God.
Charlie had seen Leo shirtless before on the rare occasions that Leo had changed his T-shirt in Charlie’s room, but now, with him so close, Charlie tasting the sweet scent of his smooth skin, it was almost too much.
Almost, because nothing was going to stop Charlie laying his palm on Leo’s chest and counting the beats of his thudding heart.
“I love it when you do that to my wrist,” Leo whispered. “It feels like you catch the fear and push it all away.”
If only. Charlie would take every terror Leo had endured if such a thing were possible. “Kiss me, Leo.”
Leo obliged, and returned the favour of stripping Charlie of his T-shirt. Their bare chests touched and the stars exploded.
It was nearly dawn and neither of them had slept. Charlie lay with Leo’s head in his lap and ran his fingers through Leo’s hair. “Are you okay?”
