“Is it?”
“Well, yes and no. I dread to think how many children Kate would have taken the pain and suffering from, if it were possible.”
“I’d do it for Lila.”
“I know you would. And so will she when she’s old enough to process everything you’ve both been through.”
Leo absorbed Reg’s words with a nod and then let his head return to its love affair with the window. It was odd to be communicating so easily with Reg when he’d spent so long avoiding him, but the shift between them had happened sometime between Leo kicking in Darren Stroud and waking up in a horribly familiar hospital, and he was too tired to fight it. Reg was here, and so was Leo, and apparently that wasn’t changing anytime soon.
Sometime later, Leo woke up to Reg gently shaking him.
“We’re home, son.”
Son. That shit was still annoying.Damn it, just call me Leo.But the prospect of seeing Lila—and Charlie—distracted Leo from even scowling in Reg’s direction. He rubbed his face and pushed his matted curls from his forehead, hoping his glassy eyes and haggard appearance wouldn’t frighten Lila. “Do I look okay?”
“Of course you do, though I reckon Kate will try and feed you the moment you get in.” Reg got out of the car and was somehow at Leo’s door in the blink of an eye. He opened it, then helped Leo out before he could protest. “When you get inside, go wherever you’re most comfortable. We’ll bring Lila to you if she’s not already there.”
But Reg’s offer proved unnecessary, because Lila was exactly where Leo knew she would be—perched on the living room windowsill, counting his steps until he reached her.
He scooped her down with his good arm and embraced her as tightly as he could manage. Whispered words were on his lips, even though she’d never hear them. “I’m here, kiddo. I’m sorry.”
Lila squeezed him fiercely, then pulled away, her face marred by the innocent confusion Leo’s heart could never take. “Are you okay?” she signed.
“I am now.”
“I’m hungry.”
“What’s new?”
There was movement behind them. Leo whirled around, still clutching Lila, and disappointment hit him like a punch to the gut as Kate chanced a hopeful smile with her plate of sandwiches that she set on the coffee table.
“I’ve brought you lunch,” she signed to Lila.
“Where’s Charlie?” Leo blurted, and then wanted to smack himself as something inscrutable flickered in Kate’s eyes.
“He’s at school,” she said. “It’s Monday, remember?”
Leo had stopped caring what day of the week it was a long time ago. School often felt like the bane of his life, but before Charlie, weekends had brought a nightmare all of their own.But it’s not like that anymore. You trust Reg now, don’t you?
Did he?Do I?
Reg came into the living room. He smiled at Lila, and then met Leo’s eyes with a steady gaze that stirred nothing in Leo—demanded nothing. A kindly stare that reminded him only of his empty stomach.
Leo stepped forward and took a sandwich from the plate. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Kate said, her features brightening with a cautious delight that made Leo wonder what sort of git he’d been the last time she’d seen him. “I’ll fetch some drinks, then we’ll leave you to it.”
And of course she made good on her promise. Leo was coming to realise that she and Reg always did.
Later that afternoon, afterwaytoo many games of Mouse Trap and Uno, Leo fell asleep on the couch while Lila watchedDespicable Meon the iPad. Nasty dreams had plagued him for years, but the antibiotic-induced illusions weren’t so bad. He was quite happily playing football with duck-billed unicorns when Kate woke him sometime later.
“Teatime,” she said. “And medicine time.”
She dropped an antibiotic into his palm, along with the final dose of pills from the psychiatrist. Somehow, Reg had wangled him a stay of execution on any more until “other options” had been explored, whatever that meant.
Leo swallowed the pills, knowing he’d miss the numbing buzz of the sedative, and sat up slowly, flexing his tender arm, loosening the muscles that had stiffened while he slept. He searched automatically for Lila. She was already at the table, eagerly filling her plate in a way that warmed Leo from the inside out.This is her home.And then guilt hit him hard, like it had so many times since his faculties had returned to him in the hospital. Reg had promised him that whatever happened, he and Kate would always look after Lila, but that didn’t make up for how close Leo had come to abruptly exiting her life.
“Come on, love,” Kate prompted. “Do you need a hand up?”
