“Nope, but if I had, don’t you think I’d still be doing them if they were any good? Drugs are bullshit. You don’t need them. You’re not crazy like me.”
“Crazy?”
“Yeah, I’ve got pills for that, you know.” Leo rolled his eyes briefly into the back of his head before he closed them. “To help me sleep, or some shit. They don’t work though. Reckon I’d need to drop ten of them to silence the dead.”
“The dead?”
“Yeah, ’cept the dead are never really silent, are they? Not in your dreams.”
Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat. Some nights it seemed like he lived every moment of Leo’s nightmares, but he knew there were many that Leo suffered in silence, or evaded by staying awake all night long, sitting on the roof, or the window sill, blowing clouds of smoke to the stars. “I’m sorry.”
“Hmm?” Leo opened his eyes. “What areyousorry for?”
“I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.”
Charlie started to roll away, but Leo caught his face in his heated palm. “I’m not unhappy.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not. Not here . . . not with you.”
Charlie took a breath, but whatever response he might have made was cut off by Leo’s lips on his, tentative at first, but then harder—muchharder than they’d kissed in the park.
And harder than Charlie had dreamed of in the moments he’d drifted off while waiting for Leo to wake.
The kiss went on and on, grew deeper with every brush of lips and stuttered gasp. Charlie’s blood roared in his ears and his skin tingled. His heart quickened until he was sure he’d combust. He thought he’d kissed Leo before, thought he remembered how it felt, but his disjointed recollection had nothing on reality. Kissing Leo was like flying, and Charlie didn’t want to come down—
Leo pulled away with a soft groan. “Oh God, my head.”
The fog cleared from Charlie’s brain. He blinked and took in Leo’s renewed pallor. “Shit, okay. Lie down. I’ll get you some paracetamol from Mum’s room.”
“Don’t go.” Leo tightened his grip on Charlie’s wrists. “I’m fine, honest.”
“Humour me.” Charlie tugged on the pillow and gave Leo a gentle push. “I’ll be right back.”
He got up and hurried to Kate and Reg’s room. Kate kept all medications locked away, but she always left a single dose of over-the-counter painkillers where older kids could find them.
Charlie took them back to Leo with a glass of water. “Swallow.”
Leo raised an eyebrow. “Wanna rephrase that?”
“Hmm? Oh, um . . .” Heat flooded Charlie’s cheeks.
Leo chuckled, though it sounded bone-tired. “Never mind.” He swallowed the pills, then laid his hand on Charlie’s bare chest almost absently, before he blinked and let it drop. “This should feel weird.”
“Huh?”
“This.” Leo gestured between them. “You were so fucked up last night, I thought you’d be a basket case this morning, but this . . . it feels like we always do it.”
Charlie’s heart did a strange flip, like Leo’s hand had turned it upside down and shaken it. “We’re not really doing anything. You’ve been asleep all morning.”
“You know what I mean.”
Charlie thought he did, but Leo was making him nervous, making him doubt every assumption that ran through his mind. Was Leo saying he wanted to kiss him again? Or that kissing him was so boring it felt mundane? Charlie took a chance and reached for Leo’s hand, brushing his thumb over Leo’s thrumming pulse. Leo grinned a little, leaning forward, and—
The door opened. Fliss looked in with a smirk that made Charlie want to punch her in the face. “Morning, boys. Not interrupting, am I?”
Charlie slithered off the bed as Leo dropped back on the pillows. “What do you want?”
