“The heat is on fullblast.”
“So?” He pulled me close and kissed my shoulder, teasing it lightly with his tongue. “Whatcha going to doaboutit?”
I gripped his chin and pulled him off me, though I couldn’t contain my grin. It was a while since he’d last woken up with a smile. “What do youthink?”
“Ithink—”
I cut off his answer by sucking the rough flesh of his neck into my mouth. Pete laughed and then groaned. “Fuck, I shoulda kept my mouth shut. Igottago.”
He squirmed, but I put my hand on his chest and tipped him onto his back. No fucking way—he’d started this—and I’d missed this side of him way too much to let him leave. To help my case, I pinned his hands over his head and attacked his neck once more. Iknewhim. If he stayed still long enough for me to sink my teeth in, he wasn’t goinganywhere.
But too soon, he moved again and this time, apparently, meant business. He attempted to untangle himself from me, and it worked, to an extent, but I wasn’t about to help him. He’d gotten a leg out of the bed when I pouncedagain.
I threw him back on the bed and kissed him. Beneath me, he arched and kissed me back, all the while shaking his head in protest. “I’ve really gottogo.”
In answer, I rolled him over, grateful that the scarily efficient heating system allowed us to both sleep naked. Besides, his griping was unfounded. What I had in mind wouldn'ttakelong.
Old habits die hard, and I still had to be in the right mood to fuck from behind, but first thing in the morning was often the perfect time for me—I was in the moment before my treacherous brain caught up with me. And it helped that Petelovedit. Watching him buck and arch as I slid into him was enough to distract me from just about anything… except the knowledge that it had beenmonthssince Pete had lasttopped.
Beneath me, Pete squirmed, pulling me back into the present, and the cloud in my brain dissipated for the time being. Six years hadn’t dulled Pete’s ability to rock my world with a twist of his hips, and he widened his legs to make more room for me. “Damn it, Ash. You’re gonna make mela…fuck!”
His incoherence made me grin as I took his hands and wrapped them over the bars of the headboard. I slicked up quickly and drove into him, bruising his hips with my hands as a groan tore out of me. I still couldn't bring myself to touch his back when we fucked like this, but it didn't keep me up at night anymore. These days, onlythiskept me up all night… most of the time, at least, ’cause life was never perfect,right?
Pete braced himself on the bed frame, and I reached around and found his cock. I knew his body better than my own, and it wasn’t long before he growled and came in my hand. A few more thrusts and I was done too, coming with a shudder that threw me off balance. Quick, dirty morning sex. Yeah. There wasn’t much betterthanthat.
I held Pete against me for a long moment before I pulled out and flopped down on the bed beside him. Breathless, he rolled over and leaned over me. He pushed the sweat-damp hair off my forehead and pressed a light kiss to mytemple.
“I really have to go now. Are you still okay to get Liam from Mrs. Gellar? You’ll have Cosmo as well,remember?”
I took a moment to catch my breath before I opened my eyes. I met Pete’s steady gaze, and just like that, it was back to reality. Back to a life of childcare, chores, and paying the bills. A life I’d never known I wanted before it landed on my doorstep. “It’s fine. I’ll pick her up after Liam. Do you want dinner before yougoout?”
“Nah. I’ll get him a ’dog at the movietheater.”
Pete started to slide from the bed, then he stopped, leaned back, and rubbed my chest, almost as an afterthought. “Don’t hole yourself up with those accounts all day. You know they make youcrazy.”
He was kidding, but there was truth behind his humor. These days his black mood seemed never ending, but he still had nothing on me. Pete’s grief gave him a tangible reason for his apathy. Me? Damn. I was just plain crazy, or at least, I hadbeenonce.
* * *
The Mondayafter Liam’s weekend visit turned out to be one of the rare days I woke alone. I jumped awake, knowing immediately that Pete hadn’t come home from his hospital shift, and took a minute to ground myself. But it didn’t work, and I fumbled for my phone. It had been three years since the police had woken me at dawn to tell me that Pete had been hit by an L train, but the cold dread remained even as my screen lit up with hismessage.
Bus crash. Gonna belatex
He’d sent the message minutes before the alarm had woken me. I wondered if it was worth tapping out a reply, but my phone rang in my hand before I’d thought of anythingcoherent.
It was theER. “Pete?”
“Morning, fucker. Did Iwakeyou?”
“No, Iwasup.”
“You don’tsoundit.”
I cleared my throat and forced myself upright. “I’mupnow.”
Pete chuckled. “Listen, I’ve only got a sec, but can you do me afavor?”
“’Course. What doyouneed?”
