“Clearly.” Ash eyed my beer. For a second, I thought he might pick it up and take a swig, but he didn’t, and the fleeting frustration in his eyes faded so fast I wondered if I’dimaginedit.
I searched for a way to question it without totally ruining dinner, but then the first of the mezze we’d ordered arrived, and the moment passed. We dug in like starving men, as plate after plate of amazing food was delivered to our table, and ate until we could eatnomore.
Rubbing his stomach, Ash flopped back in his seat. “I don’t think I have the energy for Joe’sclubnow.”
Predictably, my phone buzzed in my pocket right at that moment, and Joe’s face flashed up on the screen with the kind of message I’d never take fromanyoneelse.
Don’t bepussies
Ash groaned. “You know he’s going to hassle us all the way to Portland if wedon’tgo.”
“We’re not going to Portland; we’re going toAshton.”
“Very funny. You know I’m right,though.”
I did, and even though going to a club was the last thing on my mind as I slipped comfortably into a food coma, I tapped the link Joe had sent with his message. “Oh forGod’ssake.”
“What?”
I held the phone out. “He’s sending us to acatbar.”
“Wha—?” Ash took the phone and burst outlaughing.
I was less amused. Gay bars I could do, but cats? No way. We had one that terrorized our apartment, and I was convinced the little fuck stole my stuff from the roofterrace.
Ash touched my arm. “There’s no real cats there, Pete. It’s just a bit of fun… you remember that,right?”
I snapped my gaze to him. There was no malevolence in his eyes, only sadness, and a sudden pain lanced my heart. Was this what I had become to him? A deadbeat, miserable bastard? Anyone else, I could convince myself that the comment was their own sass—meaning it was their fucking problem, but Ash didn’t do shit like that. And he didn’t bitch me out unless I pushed him totheedge.
Another wave of clarity hit me, but the words to fix the mess wouldn’t come, so I reached for my wallet and held out my hand. “Let’s goparty.”
* * *
Okay,so feline-themed clubs were definitely not my bag, but I couldn’t deny that it felt amazing to be out and proud with Ash. I sank into a couple of beers, and the dark cloud that had become my constant companion lifted a touch, chased away by neon lights, glitter, and the swathes of naked man skin allaroundus.
Not that I took much notice of any man but Ash. He was never going to take his shirt off in public, but he didn’t need to. The fucker turned heads wherever he went, and the fact that he had no idea made me love himevenmore.
Made mewanthimevenmore.
We didn’t dance. Ever. But clubs had always made us horny in the past, and this one was no exception. The music ramped up and the heat seeped into us. The crowds thickened, pushing us ever closer. I pressed myself tight against Ash, so absorbed in him that I forgot to glare at anyone who dared look his way, and backed him into a nearby wall. “I likethisclub.”
“Yeah?” Ash hadn’t touched any booze, but his face was as flushed as mine felt, his eyes as hooded, and his skin jumped when I slid my hands beneath his T-shirt and over his chest. He licked his lips. “Do you think we’re gonna beherelong?”
I doubted it, and it wouldn’t be the first time we’d cut loose early to run home and bang. But we weren’t at home now, and as I kissed Ash, it occurred to me that we’d never fucked anywhere that wasn’t our home. If tonight went the way most of our club adventures had before, where would it end? Would Ash fuck me in a hotel? I honestly had no idea.And whose fault is that?If I’d come with him when he’d first started traveling two years ago, I’d know, and perhaps would have even persuaded him that we could fuck anywhere we damn wellpleased.
We kissed for hours in the club. The fact that Ash made no move to hustle me out clued me in to how he felt about banging in our hotel room, but I didn’t let that stop me enjoying him. Because,fuck, I’d missed him, even though he’d been right there from the moment I’d met him. Ash was my home, my family, my everything. We didn’t need to screw for me toknowthat.
It was the early hours of the morning when we finally emerged from the club into the foggy dark, the cold a shock to the system after hours and hours in the steamy club. Ash shivered and pulled his coat tighter. Buzzed by a few too many beers, I felt it less. I slipped my arm around his waist and steered him toward our hotel, which was helpfully just across the street.Thanks,Joe.
In our room, we ditched our shoes and coats, and then I jumped on Ash, tumbling him cautiously onto the unfamiliar bed. I expected tension in him, perhaps even that he’d push me away, but hedidn’t.
The chill of our short walk forgotten, the temperature between us rose fast. I was heavier than Ash, and stronger—physically, at least—but he was faster and more flexible, and so we were pretty evenly matched. And I was careful too. Ash had to be in the mood to be dominated, and I was struggling to gauge himrightnow.
He got me on my back and unbuttoned my jeans. I wriggled out of them and just about lost my mind when he took my cock in his mouth. Ash was thebombat giving head, and fueled by the beer I’d drunk, I was quickly desperateformore.
I sat up and pulled him off me. “Getnaked.Now.”
“Why?”
