ChapterOne
Pete
September
I shifted on the hard, wooden bench. The lawyers had said the hearing was a formality—that we’d be in and out in minutes—but it seemed like I’d been cooling my heels all damn day. Actually, scrap that. It seemed like I’d been cooling my heels for months. The collar of my shirt itched. I’d spent a lot of time wearing a preppy button-down recently, and I still wasn’t used to it. I wanted to fiddle with it, maybe undo a few buttons, but a glare from Danni kept mestill.
The bustle of the courthouse went on around me. I exhaled a long, slow puff of air and let my mind wander. Since the day he’d been born, I’d always known my nephew, Liam, would become my responsibility. My sister was, at best, flaky. At her worst, she was a selfish, heartless bitch, though I’d never quite pictured her as a cold-blooded killer. Until a Wisconsin social worker appeared on my doorstep early this spring, I hadn’t heard from Heidi in years, and the last time I’d set eyes on Liam, he’d been four years old. He was seven now and old enough to have a valid opinion of who he wanted to be with. For reasons I’d never understand, he’d chosen to live some of his lifewithme.
A blessing, right? A year ago, I’d have said yes, but that was before my mom, Maggie, had died and I’d stopped seeing the good in anything. I'd buried her three weeks before Heidi shot her husband, and without my mom, there was a void in my life no one else couldeverfill.
Sometimes I even forgot Ash had losthertoo.
Sometimes I forgot everyone in the world but herandme.
“Pete.”
Iblinked. “What?”
Danni shook her head slightly. “You seem half asleep today. Are you gonna wake up before we goinside?”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Danni may have been Ash’s sister, but their flawless skin and wild blond hair were where the similarities ended. She lacked his patience, and she’d likely kick my ass before she let my trademark insolence slide. “I’mawake.”
“Good. Do you know what you’re goingtosay?”
“Nope.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
Danni scowled and I looked away. I’d spent months wrestling with social workers who didn't want to place a seven-year-old boy with a same-sex couple, especially when one of them was an ex-junkie with a history of mental illness. In theory, I didn't blame them. I had a respectable job, a nice home, and a steady partner, but Ash? He had those thingsnow—the majority of our income was his—but he had a checkered past. A traumatic childhood, years of drug abuse, and the devastating consequences of both didn't sound good onpaper.
But I did have a few things up my sleeve: letters, mainly—three of them. The first was from Danni. She told his life story from her point of view, and no one could argue with the way she described the brother she’d feared she’d never find. It was probably only the second time I’d ever seen Ash cry. Even after all this time, he still didn’t get how anyone could love himsomuch.
Me? Damn. I believed every word… I lived by those words every day of my life. Ash was the only reason I felt like I could offer Liam a home, andhisletter broke my heart. He’d seen the worst side of the foster care system, and his handwritten statement made it clear he’d walk away from me if it spared Liam the same trauma. And while it didn't have any legal sway in the courthouse, it was probably the first time he’d seenmecry in awhile.
The third letter was from Joe, Danni's husband, and a man both Ash and I considered a brother. His letter wasn't about Ash; it was about me, and though I'd yet to read the whole thing, one line scrawled at the end would stay with meforever.
Pete taught me how to love, and for that, he will always be the man I try to be… a father, a brother,ason.
Sweet, huh? I thought so, but making me cry like a bitch all over again wasnotcool.
* * *
Iwalkedout of the courthouse in a daze, my ears still ringing with the final pound of the judge’s gavel. It was done, over—at least for now. At that very moment, Liam was packing his shit up in Wisconsin. He’d be with a foster family in Chicago by the weekend, and at the start of the next month, he'd spend three days of each weekwithus.
It was a strange feeling. I’d been with Ash for six years, and I’d never truly considered the idea that we could raise a child together. Liam was seven. His early years had already passed us by, but even though I’d had months to prepare for it, the prospect of setting that right was daunting. The kid was a stranger to me, and I didn't know where tostart.
I shook hands with my attorney. As she turned to leave, check in hand, it struck me again that if Heidi had turned a gun on her husband just a few years earlier, I wouldn’t have had the means to fight for Liam. Ash was paying the legal fees. Much to his disgust, he’d made a fortune selling his unwanted paintings and sketches. But it wasn’t as easy as throwing money at the problem. If this was going to work, our lives had to change. I worked shifts as a senior nurse in one of Chicago’s busiest ERs. Ash had more flexibility, but he still had places he needed to be every day. Work, school, and the art gallery-come-tattoo studio he co-owned with Ted. Yeah, that’s right. Ash was finally using the big-ass brains he’d been born with, and whatever happened, I didn’t want my sister’s mistakes to fuck up the life he’d worked sohardfor.
To get around it, I’d made plans to quit my job and go back to the mind-numbing boredom of checking vitals in a swanky clinic. Lucky for me, the ER had other ideas and had put me on a permanent shift pattern. Barring mass-casualty incidents, the occasional weekend, and three night shifts a month, I’d be home every day by six. With Danni and Joe’s help, we’d hashed out a system thatworked.
“Babe, you need a life. You gave us that when we had Cosmo. Let us helpyoutoo.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Besides, I needed time to learn to cook if the poor kid wasn’t going to live on take-out pizza and toast. I’d grown too used to Ash and Maggie taking careofme.
Next to me, Danni’s hand on my arm brought me gently back to the present. As she turned to me, the diamond stud in her nose caught the sun, distracting me from the swell of her pregnant belly. “I can’t wait to tell Cosmo,” she said. “She knows we’ve been hiding somethingfromher.”
