“Of Cass? Why? ’Cause he’s got it all?”
“No, because he got to kiss you.”
Words failed Nero. The heat of the humid night air seeped into him, melding with the heady weed smoke, and his legs moved of their own volition until he was right in front of Lenny, gazing down at him, their faces inches apart. “Do you wear makeup every day?”
“Why? Does it freak you out?”
“Not at all. It’s . . .”
“What?”
Lenny’s stare hardened slightly, like he was steeling himself for rejection, but pushing Lenny away was the last thing on Nero’s mind. An invisible cord drew him closer, and he cupped Lenny’s soft cheek in his palm. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Nero sucked in a breath and time seemed to slow as Lenny’s lips came up to meet his in a light kiss that was no more than a brush of feathers. His eyes fell closed. What the hell was he doing? As Lenny-centric as his world had become, never once had he pictured them together like this. Why would he have, when Cass had asked him to keep Lenny safe, teach him, and train him?
Not ply him with weed and snog him on the fire escape. But Nero didn’t pull back. Couldn’t. Because even as the thought crossed his mind, Lenny’s arms slid around his waist, tight and strong, holding him in place as Lenny stretched up to claim Nero’s lips once more, this time in a brave, searching kiss, the kind of kiss that couldn’t be denied.
Or ignored.
Nero backed Lenny into the flat, stumbling, and pushed him into the kitchen counter. He kissed Lenny again, harder than before—harder than he’d kissed Cass all those years ago—and rubbed his cheek against Lenny’s, absorbing the sensation of skin that was softer than his own, but rougher than any woman’s he’d held in his arms like this.
No. Not like this. He’d never held anyone like this, never breathed someone in so entirely that he didn’t know where they ended and he began. This wasn’t just a kiss. It couldn’t be. Nero shoved his hands into Lenny’s silky hair to ground himself. Lenny gasped and dug his nails into Nero’s flesh. The sharp pain brought reality crashing down and finally—finally—Nero saw sense and let Lenny go.
You’re not what he needs. Nero wheeled backwards, covering his mouth with his hands, like he could push the kiss back in, cage it, lock it up, and throw away the key. Nothing stays locked up forever—but Nero blocked that thought too and collided with the fridge, tripping over his feet, like he’d drunk twenty bottles of beer instead of two.
“Nero?”
Nero shook his head. Don’t. Don’t say a fuckin’ word. And Lenny didn’t. He stood silent and still as Nero stumbled away from him, the darkness descending like an iron curtain and more of a barrier than his bedroom door would ever be, even as he clumsily slammed it and slid down the smooth wood, burying his face in his bent knees.
Fucking idiot.
“Nero . . . Nero. Wake up? Please?”
Nero woke with a jump, heart racing, his throbbing hand curled into a fist so tight his knuckles screamed with a new pain. But then gentle fingers touched him, prying his hand open to lay a warm palm in his, a palm that carried a current strong enough to clear his blurred vision and reveal Lenny sitting on his bed. His seraphic face was full of apprehensive concern, and set off by a glittering nose stud that had definitely not been there the day before. Unless, of course, Nero was still dreaming and Lenny was about to evaporate into a puff of smoke, leaving in his place the grim, set features that were carved into the darkest part of Nero’s soul.
Fuck you.
Nero wrenched his hand from Lenny’s and laid it over his stampeding heart. “What are you doing in here?”
“Apologising.”
“What for?”
“For jumping you last night. Don’t know what got into me.”
“What?”
Lenny groaned softly. “Aw, don’t make me say it again. I’m embarrassed enough.”
He’s embarrassed? Nero searched his jumbled mind for any reason that emotion didn’t belong to him alone, but found none. “Don’t apologise. It was my fault.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”
Lenny pursed his lips, marring their beautiful shape. Nero’s hand reached out, unbidden, and cupped his chin, his thumb swiping across Lenny’s mouth. “Don’t do that.”
