Ben didn’t care if Lady Clara’s father was the earl of Chelmsford or the king. He made no movement to agree or disagree with his sister, though Lady Clara was smiling brightly. He didn’t find her unattractive or unsuitable to be a wife. Her hair was dark sable brown pinned into curls over her ears. Her eyes were wide and filled with willingness.
Ben knew what was expected of him at a Marriage ball. He was to meet the ladies, dance with those he liked, and bythe end of the night choose one to wed. If he chose no one…his thoughts wandered back to Miss Ramsey. She knew that her leaving meant he couldn’t choose her.
He already knew he wouldn’t choose anyone else. But he’d promised Prudence he would meet the hopefuls.
The first was Lady Clara, who didn’t seem to mind his aloof, curt treatment. He thought if he had to dance with her, he’d throw himself on his sword first. Next came the opposite in Lady Elizabeth Drake, who literally trembled like a terrified dog if he happened to glance in her direction–so he didn’t. He barely held back his mournful sighs and low, threatening growls through conversations with Ladies Loretta Cornel and Margaret Somner. The more time he spent with his sister’s idea of suitable wives, the more desperate he became to escape them and hurry to Miss Ramsey.
“I can speak six languages,” boasted Lady Joan D’Artane. “I can embroider the most detailed designs, and prepare thirty-two dishes.”
Ben looked over her shoulder at the open doors leading to the garden. Prudence was out there with Sudbury, who had returned. It was clear they were arguing.
“I’m also well versed in poetry and I can play several instruments,” Lady Joan went on.
Ben exhaled.
“I understand you were the king’s personal guard.” She paused in listing her attributes to mention his. “A highly decorated captain in his army.”
Ben guzzled down the remainder of the wine in his cup and nodded, then looked around for the next lady on the list. He caught Sudbury coming into the ballroom and storming back out through the main exit.
Prudence returned from the garden and looked around. When she saw Lady Joan’s mother she smiled brightly as if she hadn’t just come from fighting with the man she cared for.
Ben turned away then ground his jaw when he saw Lady Isabel Talbert and her mother coming for him. He wasn’t sure which of the two looked him over as if he was the last morsel of meat more, the mother or daughter.
Before they reached him, he turned and hurried out of the ballroom. That was it! He’d had enough!
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked up hoping to see Miss Ramsey there at the top. She wasn’t there. She’d called it a game. But it wasn’t. This marriage ball made him think about what he needed to do. Either marry or return to his duty and fight. He didn’t want to marry anyone his sister…or his father chose. He didn’t want to marry Fable either and leave her a widow. He had to write to His Majesty soon.
He wouldn’t go to her, though he longed to see her. It was better this way. If he saw her, he likely wouldn’t be able to walk away. He had to stop lying to himself. He cared for her. He didn’t know how or when it began, but he anticipated and remembered every moment spent with her. And he had to put an end to it. Now. Tonight. He wouldn't send her away, but he wouldn’t let himself feel anything more than fondness for her. To do so was hurting her and would hurt her even more later. Even if she somehow defeated and replaced his anger and drive for revenge and could fill his days with happiness and peace, he would have to deny her love so that he didn’t deny his father’s wishes.
It broke his heart and as he turned away from the stairs, it made him angry with his father for the first time. He didn’t care where Fable came from, who her family or what her status was. She stirred him. He couldn’t set his eyes on her without being stirred. Deep within, deeper than even he could have imagined,she broke through layer after layer. If he let her…but there was still enough of a defense to keep her at bay.
He stayed awake practicing his swordplay alone, until Sudbury finally joined him beneath the stars.
Ben’s arm was strong, his aim sure, when he swung his heavy blade at his friend. Sudbury didn’t hold back either, but parried and jabbed with the grace of an elegant bird. Ben had to block after almost every strike, but the speed and weight of Ben’s assault finally wore his opponent down. Sudbury dropped to his knees and held up his arms.
Ben lowered his sword and bent over to catch his breath while his friend did the same.
“Do that before the king and he’ll snatch you right back up,” Sudbury remarked earnestly. “You’re ready.”
Ben thought he’d be happier to hear those words. He was ready. Three years of hell and he was finally ready. His heart should be light. It was finally time to stand before the king and prove his skill. But he felt an unfamiliar pull.
“What is it?” his friend asked. “I thought you would be happier to hear that.”
“I’m happy, but–”
Sudbury waited. “But? By any chance does it have to do with Miss Ramsey, with whom you spend all your time?”
“It can’t have to do with her, Simon,” Ben told him quietly. “If the king takes me back….it’s what I’ve waited for.”
“She waited for you,” the earl informed him. “When the ball was over, she waited but you didn’t go to her.”
“How do you know she waited?” Ben asked him. “Did you return to her room after your fight with my sister?”
“Yes. I thought it would be the first place you went.”
Ben imagined her waiting for him. He felt terrible but not going to her was the right thing to do.
“How…how was she when you left her?” He didn’t want to know. He shouldn’t want to know, but he seemed to have lost control of his mouth.
